To My Fellow Women, Please Remember This

When someone tells you that you are weak, raise your chin up a little higher, stride along the dark alley of misogyny, pick up every garbage that you see and put them in their place, then go on – continue reading your books, drink your coffee, get that job, reach for your dreams, bear a child, raise your kids, raise no children, marry a man, marry a woman, or do not marry at all – do whichever you like, because a woman, just like a man, can be whatever the hell she wants to be and I see no weakness in that.

When someone tells you that you are ‘too much’ of this and that for a woman, then for all the right reasons, be even more. Exceed their expectations. Do not ever reduce yourself into something you are not. If you have been told that you laugh too loud for a woman, laugh a little harder; laugh at their incarceration to the norms, because that same laugh will crush inequality and injustice, and it will also be the last laugh the world gets to hear. If you have been told that you are too ambitious and hopeful for a woman, work harder. Shake the world out of its nonsense and prove everyone wrong because your ambitions are what will change the world, and if they can’t welcome change, feel free to leave them behind.

You were not born to wait for anyone.

Do not ever let anyone invalidate your feelings and experiences. Exert all of your will and effort; do your best to fight. Stand up for yourself, and when people blame you for drinking alcohol, or for what you were wearing, do not listen. Do not let anyone decide what you should feel. You are sovereign and you belong only to yourself. Your body is your territory and if somebody decides to invade it, you have every right to push them away.

When you’re trying to talk and nobody listens because you are “just a woman,” scream at them. For heaven’s sake, scream as loud as you can. Do not ever let anybody shut you out. You are a woman – full of ideas, spark, intelligence, and wit. Speak out. Let the whole world know your name and let your voice cross oceans and continents. Do not let them mute you. Your predecessors have fought hard, and now here you are – a few steps closer to being treated fairly. Do not let anyone halt you; not even your doubts or weaknesses. Keep running; keep shouting. It will all be worth it in the end. I promise.

You are a woman and you were made to be respected, understood, and loved, but never forget that you were also made to respect, understand, and love.

Before you give up on the world you wish to escape, use your voice to carry out change. Know that not all men are drunk in their privilege, and not everyone wishes to dehumanize you. There are other people out there just like you – people you can lean on; people you can trust; people who believe in you; and people who will not reduce you to the traditional standards of womanhood.

Darling, you are a woman, and no matter what this sick society imposes on or tells you, being a woman is never less than being a man. You were made to lead, guide, influence, learn, teach, respect, be respected, love, and be loved. You were made to break the codes and to be whatever you want to be, however you want to. You can dress however you want, talk as loud and blunt as you want, laugh as hard as you want, put on as much make up as you want, love whoever you want to love – to hell with anyone. I hope you never accept “because you are just a woman” or “because that’s how a woman should be” as valid answers to your questions or reasons to their oppressive arguments. You are a woman and you are human. You are a woman – different from a man, and every other woman, and only you can define your version of what being a woman is.