I want you in the blackness, your eyes heavy at only just 10PM with your arms and legs wrapped around me and I’m unable to escape. I want you in the softness of ‘don’t go’, losing the battle to sleep that claims you as I kiss your forehead and head home.
I want you in each beat skipped, each and every time I spot you waiting for me with a ‘you’re late’ expression but wearing a grin nonetheless. I want you in the heat of summer when our palms get sweaty from grasping each other’s hand so tight.
I want you in between the awkward silences when we both don’t know what to say and conversation seems difficult.
I want you in the angry outbursts with fire in your eyes, knowing that when the flames die down you’ll still be there to talk when the ash finally settles.
I want you in the romance of it all, the kisses every time we step onto an escalator, automatically turning to face each other. I want you in the cheekiness, with surprise attacks of tickling and covert bum-grabbing–or not so covert in public. I want you in the pretend pouts when you embarrass me or prove me wrong, but always know to pull me back in with your laughter and embrace. I want you in the quietness, sitting side by side on the bus talking about everything and anything or even nothing at all.
I want you in the fear when I don’t know what’s happening between us
and I know that I could ask you, but you’ll tell me anyway because you already know it’s playing on my mind and that only you could ease me.
I want you especially in the hard times when doubt grips me and I’m wondering if this is what I truly want. I want you because being with you has been a slow learning process of how someone could fall for another piece by piece, in a puzzle that you never want to really finish. I want you because for someone who normally finds all the words, you leave me unable to form coherent sentences and it scares me.
I want you because I’m forever thankful in the honesty you bring me
and without knowing, you’re giving me the gift of being able to trust again. I want you in every way there is to want someone, and you’re not just anyone.