1. They never really loved you
There is no such thing as cheating on a person you ‘love.’ Love is empowering. Love is an everlasting canvas of loyalty, commitment and devotion – all the things your partner is violating. You are naive to believe they feel any genuine connection for you if they are freely kissing or banging someone else. They are willing to jeopardise your relationship for their temporary desires. If they really love you, the thought of cheating would never cross their mind.
2. They want the best of both worlds, not you
They want you fixed in their life, but they prefer to be vacant for other options too. They enjoy the thrill of diving into intercourse with someone else secretly, as well as your love and affection. How repulsive. They like the ‘idea’ of a relationship, but aren’t all for the commitment when push comes to shove. Clearly, they aren’t ready to settle down.
3. More often than not they’re hiding other things too
Sometimes you’ll never really get to the bottom of what they’re up to or why they’re so shady. This is what makes cheating so sad. There is always more to just cheating. Typically, they lie about other things too.
4. They knew exactly what they were doing
The cheaters justification, to my disgust, is mostly manipulated and toned down, as if their wrongdoing was normal. They range from “It was an accident” to “I’m sorry, you know I love you.” Even the popular “I didn’t mean it, I was drunk” strikes a few cords doesn’t it. Yeah, don’t worry, I want to pin my eyeballs too. I see it happening all too often. Everyone makes mistakes, no one’s perfect – blah blah blah. But They DID mean it. Don’t let them convince you it wasn’t intentional. It was deliberate at the time. They’re only sorry they got caught.
5. You are not the problem
Some cheaters even go as far as the extreme of making the other half feel guilty for THEIR silent crime. They will attempt to reason with your sense of sympathy by claiming they felt neglected or unhappy – that’s them spinning more poison. I talk more about this in my next point. Just remember, you did nothing wrong. Their actions suggest their unfaithfulness and dishonesty. They wouldn’t forgive someone who cheats on them, why should you?
6. If they wanted to be single, they should’ve ended things before they acted on it
Why take the selfish option? If they’re not happy, why didn’t they just talk to you about it? Why not take the better approach? Yes, it will hurt, but in the long run you will be thankful you heard it from them and not their side hoe. Being attracted to someone else can happen… I guess. But acting on those feelings is next level. They should be mature enough to have a conversation on how they’re losing feelings (if that’s the case), instead of doing the dirty. Because yes, growing out of people happens. If they don’t want to be in a relationship anymore, they should end it… instead of cheating. There is simply no excuse for cheating.
7. When they get away with it, they become a chronic cheater
By constantly getting away with it, they become a chronic cheater. What I mean by this is – they never really learn from it. They do it again and again. If you forgive them, you’re allowing this traitorous behaviour to continue and you’re basically saying you accept being cheated on. At the time, they didn’t care. What makes you think they do now? What’s stopping them from doing it again? They weren’t satisfied with you at the time, what makes you think they will be now?
8. You deserve better
In no way, shape or form am I saying it’s easy to leave. And in no way, shape or form am I saying that they are a horrible person. However, what they did WAS horrible. I guess you could say they are a horrible person in that moment. Don’t succumb to their level.
Don’t aim to get even, aim to get better. You deserve better than them. Even though they may act regretful, they still betrayed you. All previous trust goes out the window. You will struggle to fully trust them again because you’ll question anything and everything. One lie is enough to make you overthink everything they do.
9. You WILL find someone else and you won’t have to question anything
The hurt and pain caused by their actions is not worth a second chance. It’s a sign they are not for you. You will find someone that is all for you. You will find someone who only has eyes for you. But for now, you also need to heal on your own. Just remember you survived without them before they came into your life. It is their loss, not yours. Good things are coming.
Let me finish by saying – If you have turned your back on their egotistical plea for forgiveness after the 3rd, 4th or even 20th time they cheated, I’m proud of you for finally saying no and I applaud your strength. You made the right choice.