Yes, I Have Sex On The First Date, But It Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Does

Sex is a common conversation topic in our society. There’s no wonder—it’s fun, exciting, romantic, ground-shaking, and so much more. It can be intimate, creating a special and unbreakable bond between two lovers, but it can also be an adventure, leading to discovering your wants and needs and everything in between.

Many people choose to have sex on the first date. Nevertheless, there are more assumptions about their intentions and character than can be counted. Speaking as someone who does, in fact, have sex on the first date, let me tell you some things.

Yes, I have sex on the first date, but that doesn’t make me want a relationship any less. I’m looking for a connection. If I find it with someone, and we connect deeply, then by all means, let’s get undressed and lost in each other. Unless both of us specifically agree to keep the relationship casual, having sex on the first date doesn’t mean it can’t turn into something serious. It won’t change how I feel about someone — sex isn’t everything.

Yes, I have sex on the first date, but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve respect. See, it takes two to tango, so if I don’t lose respect for you, you don’t get to lose it for me either. There’s something truly powerful and confident about being sexually comfortable and owning it. I refuse to be criticized for following my passion and embracing my sexuality. I made the same choice you did, and I deserve to be treated with the same level of respect.

Yes, I have sex on the first date, but it doesn’t mean I’m promiscuous. Just because I choose to get involved with someone physically upon the first meeting doesn’t make me unfaithful or less than. I have feelings, desires, and needs, just like any other human being. I’m simply comfortable in my own sexuality, choosing to exercise my right to indulge in sexual experiences. Even if I sleep with someone on the first date, I’m not going to be with someone else tomorrow unless we both are aware of each other’s intentions. Being sexually open doesn’t mean tactless and disrespectful.

And most important of all…

Just because I have sex on the first date doesn’t mean I will have sex with you. Sex is fun and exciting, but it’s also intimate — there needs to be a connection between the two parties. It can be anything from being attracted to someone and simply wanting it to having strong feelings for someone that you want to pursue a real relationship with. Whatever that connection is for you is your personal matter, but it’s always there. So, I will not always have sex on the first date — it’s not a given. So don’t assume. Don’t make me feel like I’m easy. Because nothing could be further from the truth.

Because yes, I have sex on the first date, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings.

About the author

Natalie Trznadel

Writer. Photographer. Dreamer.