When I Was Nineteen

Nina Sever
Nina Sever

When I was nineteen, everyone told me that I would never find a guy that filled my ridiculous expectations. Though finding someone worth the while was never a game, I proved everyone wrong and met a guy that exceeded everything I wanted. When we met for the first time we instantly clicked. I was able to talk to him about anything and not feel afraid. He listened and he remembered; he worked hard and played harder. He was a mama’s boy and I think I loved that the most about him. He was that son that every mom wishes to raise. He was going to school at a private Christian university on a basketball scholarship. He worked on the weekends and always made time for his family. He was so good he made me want to be a better person. He never told me that he loved me, I didn’t even love who I was then, but I should have known that he did. I should have known he loved me when he would answer my phone calls at three in the morning those nights that I couldn’t sleep. I should have known he loved me when he would pick me up from parties that got a little out of hand after one too many drinks. I should have known he loved me when he made sure I ate breakfast even on the days I was running late. I should have known that he loved me when he drove two hours just to see me for five minutes. I should have known he loved me when he left flowers at my doorstep “just because it was Thursday”. I should have known he loved me when he still opened the car door for me a year after winning me over. I was too insecure to believe anyone could love me especially if they didn’t say it out loud. I took his heart for granted and I guarded mine. In the end, I learned that you must learn to love yourself before you can expect anyone to love you back. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Natalie Meza is an old soul who is addicted to coffee and falling in love.

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