Chivalry Isn’t Dead: 9 Old Fashioned Habits Good Men Are Keeping Alive

Ladies, if he makes an effort to get out of his car and lead you out of the passenger side by opening the door, it tells you a lot about the kind of man he is.

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Unsplash / Blake Wisz

Quick fact: Anyone who says chivalry is dead is outright lying, joking, or inadvertently feeding you a half truth.

Now don’t get me wrong… It is in short supply.

But there are some good men out there that are keeping chivalry alive.

So what are the odds that you will find a man that still honors those old-fashioned habits of showing his love, appreciation, and admiration to a woman with his actions?

I’d say they’re pretty high as long as you know where to look and what to look for.

That’s what we’re going to help you do today.

So without further ado, here are 9 old fashioned habits good men are keeping alive that prove that chivalry isn’t dead.

1. He surprises you with flowers.

The classic gesture of offering a woman flowers hasn’t gone out of style and probably never will in the eyes of good men.

While the act of giving a woman roses on a first date might seem corny to some guys, it doesn’t to the good ones.

Gifting flowers not only portrays a romantic interest, but also gentlemanly qualities that speak “I care about this date and want to put my best foot forward.”

It’s hard not to acknowledge that chivalry isn’t dead when a man brings you flowers on a first date…or any date…or special occasion for that matter lol.

2. He pays on the first date.

Okay, let’s be real for a second. If he doesn’t have the courtesy to pay the bill on the first date, he’s probably not that into you or completely lacks consideration, appreciation, and initiative.

It’s not that us women can’t pay for ourselves. But on a first date, the man picking up the tab is a gentleman quality that shows how much he appreciates that you chose to spend time with him.

Undoubtedly, men paying the bill on the first date is an old-fashioned habit that good men are keeping alive.

3. He refers to a woman by her first name until he really gets to know her.

A true gentleman understands that your mother gave you your name for a reason.

So… Baby, doll, and my all time favorite “Lil Mama” won’t come out of a man’s mouth until you are well acquainted with each other.

Gentlemen know that it can be incredibly disrespectful to call a woman anything besides her official name, at least in the initial stages.

Besides, we humans are hardwired to find our names appealing, and any chance we get to hear it from someone else, just makes it even more attractive.

So ladies, remember that a guy referring to you by your first name is a sign of chivalry and you should definitely jot it down in your notebook.

4. He is not afraid to say “I’m sorry.”

The ability to make an honest apology and say, “I’m sorry” is one of the most underrated qualities in humans.

Apologizing not only requires a considerable amount of strength but also the capacity to put ego aside to do something that you know is the right thing to do.

Therefore, a part of being a gentleman is having the ability to admit when he’s wrong, and then offering an apology to make things right.

Forget about those silly stories that always portray apologizing men as timid. Real men know how and when to own up to their mistakes.

5. He gives honest compliments that have depth.

This is the part where things get a little tricky.

Ladies, hearing compliments on your new outfit or how beautiful your eyes are may feel good, but they’re hardly something that speaks about you as a person.

In fact, receiving too many compliments could be a sign that the guy is using flattery to get in your pants.

While there’s nothing wrong with flattery, you should know how to identify honest compliments from the false ones.

That’s where gentlemen shine brightly. Instead of complimenting you on superficial things like your hair, eyes, or your body. They are more likely to give you compliments on your nature and your achievements more often than not.

6. He gives warm embraces.

Very few things can be more chivalrous as making a woman feel comfortable in the safety of manly warmth.

Also known as kissing’s less sexy cousin (okay I made that up lol), a good hug can make anyone feel rejuvenated.

When a man hugs you tenderly with care and affection, you know that chivalry isn’t dead. It’s been hiding in the comfort of his warm embrace.

7. He asks before moving in for the kiss.

Ladies, we’ve heard it countless times that spontaneity is the key to a successful relationship. But when you’re just starting out, wouldn’t you prefer a more subtle approach?

HELL YES. Don’t be randomly trying to kiss me outta nowhere on the first date.

The old fashioned habit is for a man to ask for a kiss no matter how right it feels at the moment.

Real gentlemen haven’t forgotten that.

8. He holds the door open for a woman.

Aha! So it’s back to the basics everyone. One of the most clichéd yet vital signs of chivalry has been portrayed through the ages as a man holding open a door for a woman.

Ladies, if he makes an effort to get out of his car and lead you out of the passenger side by opening the door, it tells you a lot about the kind of man he is.

And not to mention, the miles he is willing to go to keep you happy even when you don’t ask for it.

Holding open your door is a small thing, but it’s still a grand gesture.

9. He knows how to break up.

Let’s face it, sometimes things just don’t work out as planned. It is possible to be madly in love with each other and still breakup due to incompatibility in some areas.

A true gentleman is one who knows how to breakup with compassion and dignity. He realizes that some things aren’t meant to be no matter how much effort we put into it.

The breakup doesn’t lead to public rants on Facebook, stalking, starting rumors, or other petty behavior that no man should engage in.

He wishes you the best and you both part ways.

As messy as a lot of breakups often get, this is an old-fashioned habit that needs to come back in style quickly!

Okay, so now you know how to separate a true gentleman from the rest of the pack. Now it’s time to put your observation skills to the test!

Trust me, ladies, chivalry isn’t dead. If you find a man that exhibits many of the characteristics above chances are, he still observes many of the other old-time habits that have been lost through the decades. Things like marriage, raising a family and being a provider.

If you notice the signs listed above in the man you’re dating, you’ve definitely found a good one! Thought Catalog Logo Mark


About the author

Naomi Epps

Naomi Epps is an author, blogger, and single and very fabulous dating coach.