Trying Is Killing Me

I’m tired of waiting for a new day to come.

I’m tired of people.

I’m tired of their lies.

I’m tired of pretending to be happy.

I’m tired of pretending to know what I’m doing.

I’m tired of my face.

I’m tired of my body.

I’m tired of being unhealthy.

I’m tired of being so imperfect.

I’M TIRED OF TRYING

I’m tired of my efforts going unnoticed/unappreciated.

I’m tired of staying awake at night, thinking.

I’m tired of thinking.

I’m tired of hurting, of this heart ache.

I’m tired of trying to figure this out.

I’m tired of faking smiles.

I’m tired of being optimistic.

I’m tired of dreaming.

I’m tired of loving.

I’m tired of caring.

I’m tired of being selfless.

I’m tired of doing.

I’m tired of feeling like I’m going crazy.

I’m tired of my smartphone.

I’m tired of being lost.

I’m tired of being found.

I’m tired of being awake.

I’m tired of looking at myself in the mirror, wanting to puke.

I’m tired of my skin, I wish I could peel it all off.

I’M TIRED OF TRYING

I’m tired of being closed up and discreet.

I’m tired of being different.

I’m tired of being unaccepted.

I’m tired of not being good enough.

I’m tired of not being pretty enough.

I’m tired of not being talented enough.

I’m tired of not being fit enough.

I’m tired of not being funny enough.

I’m tired of not being smart enough.

I’m tired of being a nothing.

I’m tired of being somebody.

I’m tired of being there for everyone.

I’m tired of wearing my heart on my sleeve.

I’m tired of having a heart.

I’m tired of feeling so much.

I’m tired of trying to figure out what the point of all this is.

I’m tired of praying for peace.

I’m tired of hoping for contentment.

I’m tired of planning my future.

I’m tired of watching the world pass me by.

I’m tired of the crap music getting air play.

I’m tired of superficial TV shows.

I’m tired of social media and the unnecessary overload of information.

I’m tired of wars.

I’m tired of injustice.

I’m tired of tyrants.

I’m tired of seeing people mistreat their wives, husbands, kids, brothers, parents.

I’m tired of the lack of sympathy and empathy in this world.

I’m tired of the greed.

I’m tired of witnessing how money destroys souls.

I’m tired of exploitation of women.

I’m tired of women allowing themselves to be exploited.

I’m tired of nothing being even slightly mysterious any longer.

I’m tired of how overrated city, “civilized” life is.

I’m tired of air pollution.

I’m tired of pretending to be okay with the state of the world.

I’m tired of crawling into my head & staying there.

I’M TIRED OF TRYING

I’m tired of letting people go because it’s the right thing to do.

I’m tired of holding on to the wrong things because I want it so badly.

I’m tired of going around in circles.

I’m tired of nothing happening when I do my best.

I’m tired of seeing no results when I give my all.

I’m tired of crying buckets every single night.

I’m tired of pretending to be okay.

I’m tired of pretending to feel healthy.

I’m tired of pretending that I had a good time when I feel worse than I did before.

I’m tired of taking trips down memory lane and regretting it.

I’m tired of being in contact with people all the time.

I’m tired of worrying whether anyone would even be at my funeral.

I’m tired of fearing abandonment above anything else.

I’m tired of being strong for everyone when I wish I could be held once.

I’m tired of having to deal with things that shouldn’t be on my mind for another 20 years or so.

I’m tired of being trapped in a cage of doubt.

I’m tired of being judged for who I am.

I’m tired of being told I’m too sensitive.

I’m tired of being sensitive.

I’m tired of being angry.

I’m tired of being thrown out by the people most important to me.

I’m tired of feeling that I have to earn everyone’s love.

I’m tired of girls thinking I’m crazy because I do not want a wedding someday.

I’m tired of being looked at strangely when I stress how much I do not want children.

I’m tired of taking pills.

I’m tired of going for check ups.

I’m tired of skipping check ups.

I’m tired of telling everyone I’m okay when I feel like I might die at any second.

I’m tired of the pain.

I’m tired of people not wanting to associate with or be with me because I’m ill.

I’m tired of blowing people off because I feel sick.

I’m tired of feeling down because I blow people off because I feel sick.

I’m tired of people not just knowing how I feel, without me ever having to them.

I’m tired of being sober and sane.

I’m tired of being this physically exhausted.

I’m tired of feeling like a 55 year old.

I’M TIRED OF TRYING

I’m tired of watching the time pass, hoping someone would care enough to check whether I’m alive. I’m tired of reaching out to people who just don’t understand.

I’m tired of making promises I can’t keep.

I’m tired of believing others’ promises they never keep.

I’m tired of people expecting me to be something more.

I’m tired of being seen as super weird.

I’m tired of men being ashamed of me.

I’m tired of friends telling me all this will pass and will change, for the better.

I’m tired of being good at things.

I’m tired of swallowing my pride.

I’m tired of being such a complex person.

I’m tired of having to explain myself.

I’m tired of disgusting food.

I’m tired of my hideous nose.

I’m tired of my huge dark eyes.

I’m tired of looking at the calendar.

I’m tired of never being warm enough.

I’m tired of not being a fly, or bird, or book.

I’m tired of hating to be touched.

I’m tired of not being able to have meaningless sex or even make out sessions.

I’m tired of never throwing caution to the wind.

I’m tired of planning.

I’m tired of being paranoid about everything.

I’m tired of not trusting anyone & thinking they all have a hidden motive.

I’m tired of fearing I’ll never be able to love truly.

I’m tired of wondering whether I’d be forgotten when I pass.

I’m tired of wishing I never existed in the first place. I’m tired of wishing.

I’m tired of praying.

I’m tired of hoping.

I’m tired of being a fool to think things would ever change.

I’m tired of cutting people off because I can’t love any more than I already do.

I’m tired of malice.

I’m tired of making amends.

I’m tired of having such a boring ethnicity.

I’m tired of carrying the weight of the world with the tip of my finger.

I’m tired of sitting here when someone worth living a great life could use my organs or blood.

I’m tired of not being able to claw my own eyes out.

I’M TIRED OF TRYING

I’m tired of my chest closing up when the weather changes. I’m tired of breathing.

I’m tired of keeping it together, for other people.

I’m tired of not being allowed to have a meltdown – in public.

I’m tired of owning a mirror.

I’m tired of owning a body.

I’m tired of my soul taking so long to disown my body.

I’m tired of waiting…

I’m tired of waiting…

I’m tired of waiting…

I’m tired of waiting.. For something, or someone or some miracle to save me. I’m tired of being tired. I’m so very tired.