I’m sure most of us by now have been in love, and if not been in love, we’ve crushed on someone and it never worked out, right? Yes, it’s a part of life and it’s both magical and soul destroying when it doesn’t play out the way you want it to. I’m about to tell you ten reasons why true love is worth the wait, and how the wait and the journey is all part of the magic.
1. Don’t ignore red flags early on.
Your intuition is there for a reason, you feel things for a reason. Your body knows you more than your mind knows you, and it’s there to guide you through the steps in life without causing you any pain. It’s easy to get blinded by someone, especially at the early stages of dating. If you have any small inkling that something is not right, get out, because it’ll come back later, I promise.
2. Don’t settle for any less than what you deserve.
It’s true. And I don’t mean small differences. Sure he likes football, you like tennis. That’s not a reason to not give things a go. I’m talking about the way they treat you, the way they talk to you. Do they make you feel special? Or do they make you feel small? Do they support you when you are low? Or do they make you feel like you’re overreacting? All of these things are crucial when finding the right person for you. Don’t hold back because you’re playing safe, you deserve better, so keep finding that person until you do.
3. Is it love, or is it lust?
Love and lust are two completely different things. If you can find someone who meets both, they are probably the one for you. Sometimes we get caught up in the physical attraction to someone, and we easily mistake it for love. Have you ever found yourself lusting over someone very quickly, and then also very quickly feeling nothing at all? Yeah, get out, it’s not love. You’ll know it’s love when you still fancy the pants off them, six, twelve, twenty-four months later.
4. Are they in your story?
Everyone has a story, right? When you were younger, did you imagine the perfect fairytale ending? It could have been a celebrity or a crush from school. Either way, I guarantee whoever is reading this, have imagined how their future plans out and who they will end up with. Sure, some of our expectations might be deemed ‘unrealistic’ but I truly believe you feel these things for a reason and if you can even come close to that dream, you will know when it’s right for you.
5. No love is the same.
There’s no black and white path to love. There’s no right or wrong, and there are no two people who are the same. Pressure can lead you to play it safe and stick with someone for the wrong reasons. Everyone’s timing is different, everyone’s love is different and I do not believe in anybody settling for the sake of other people’s judgments.
6. Timing can be a bitch, but it’s OK.
Look, want to know why I’m so passionate about all of this? Because I met someone traveling almost two years ago. We met very shortly and it was the most radiant feeling, but unfortunately, I had to leave and he remained for another year. We spent three weeks together but it felt like three years, and I knew I’d fallen. I pined for him, cried over him and my heart fell truly empty without his presence. Guess what? One and a half years later, we met again, and the feeling was stronger than ever. The truth is, our timing was bad then, but it doesn’t mean it’ll be like that forever. We live in two different countries, but if we are meant to be, then our timing will collide. Just like yours will.
7. You CAN be happier.
No one is perfect, and you will always find someone who doesn’t necessarily tick all the boxes. But you can find someone who ticks a few less but brings out the best in you. I’ve met couples who are complete opposites, who you wouldn’t think worked, but they do, because they balance each other out and bring out the best in one another, and that’s something I think everyone should strive for.
8. Don’t feel bad about breaking a few hearts.
Tough pill to swallow, huh? Let me explain. Of course, breaking someone’s heart is not pleasant, and I don’t wish it upon anyone. But this ties into not settling for less. If you feel as though in your heart, you’re with someone for the wrong reasons, let them go whilst you can. Think how much happier they could be if they found someone more suited to them, who CAN give them their all? Sometimes we have to do the hardest things, to do the best things, for ourselves and for them.
9. You know when you know.
I never believed in this saying, because I thought ‘True love’ was just a myth. I believed it in my dreams and the movies and in classic Fairytale stories, but we live in the real world, right? Wrong. I’ve fallen in love twice in my life, and each time the person was different, but the feeling very similar. Intense eye contact and goose pimples when you look away. Every time you kiss and let go, you are desperate for another. If you can’t fault a person, and there’s no seed of doubt in your mind about them, then you know. I promise.
10. Don’t give up, OK?
It can take months and even years to find the perfect partner. I was single for three years before I fell in love again, and it was hard. I dated many, many people. And yet no one fit the cut like the first time I fell in love. I thought I was broken, emotionless, I truly thought I was incapable of falling in love. But it happens when the timing is right. Remember, love isn’t black and white, and no story has the same ending. Trust your intuition, trust your timing, and trust love to guide you to the right person. You will get there in the end, don’t give up.