If you’re trying to figure out if he wants to be with you, there is only one question you need to ask yourself in order to know:

Where is he, and why isn’t it with you?

No, seriously. That’s it. Because the way you answer this question will tell you everything you need to know about where you stand with him and whether or not it’s time to move on.

Where is he and why isn’t it with you?

You may answer this question by referencing your laundry list of reasons as to why he has failed to commit yet. For example, maybe his career is just “so busy right now.” Or maybe it’s that he’s still healing from a breakup and “isn’t ready for a relationship right now.”

If reasons like that are your answer, it’s time to let him go because he doesn’t want to be with you. After all, these are not reasons, they are excuses. Because honestly, none of that has a damn thing to do with his feelings for you.

Building too many Excel spreadsheets or worrying about the supply chain doesn’t dictate whether or not he wants to date you. His ex may have done a number on him but he wouldn’t let someone he wanted to be with go because of a relationship that ended three years ago. He’d work through it.

When it comes down to it, if he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. He’d show up and put in the work. He’d put forth the effort necessary to not only sustain your relationship but have it flourish. Oh, and he’d call it a relationship, too.

But if you answer the question by saying something along the lines of, “We haven’t had the conversation yet,” then you know what you need to do. While there’s no guarantee, if you feel confident and secure in the fact that he could want you back, there’s a very good chance he does.

Because if he wanted you, you’d know.