You deserve more than the bare minimum. You deserve genuine interest, effort, and appreciation. Here are some definitive signs he’s only giving you the bare minimum (and that you should definitely move on).
Your attraction is based on potential (not who he actually is).
When you’re being honest with yourself, you realize that most of what you see in him is based on the idea of one day (not the present). For example, he may run late all the time now, but maybe in a few years when he grows up more, he’ll understand that your time is as important as his!
Stop it.
You deserve someone who wants to treat you right from the start. You want a partner, not a project. Don’t forget that.
He’s just sooooo busy.
Like, all the time. It doesn’t matter that your schedule is just as hectic as his and you can still make enough time for him despite your other relationships and responsibilities. “Busy” is a lazy excuse and honestly a deflection. What he’s really saying is you’re not a priority. If you were, he would carve out more space in his life for you, not just when he had nothing else to do. Speaking of…
You initiate plans most of the time, but everything is still on his terms only.
This is to say that you’re the one starting talks for Friday night plans but if those plans come to fruition is dependent on whether he actually feels like committing to them. In fact, he will only confirm the plans you suggested at the very last minute (and after you texted following up).
This means that it’s you doing all the legwork in planning while also catering to his ~busy~ schedule. He stalls in committing to seeing you because he wants to see if something comes up better in the meantime. He sees you as an option, not a choice.
A bare minimum man will only come around when it is 100 percent convenient for him and doesn’t require any bending whatsoever. It’s his way of giving you the absolute least while still being able to take credit for saying saw you.
He gets visibly uncomfortable when you bring up the future as it relates to your relationship.
Because he doesn’t see a future with you in it. He sees you as a placeholder.
He says things like, “You deserve better.”
This is not a compliment, it is a warning. If someone acknowledges they’re essentially giving you nothing and that you could (and should) do better, listen to them. Walk away. You deserve more than a bare minimum man. Go find it.
