The great thing about access to you is that you can revoke it as you see fit. Here are some signs he isn’t interested in pursuing a relationship (he just likes having access to you).
You’re the only one who initiates plans
You are the sole planner when it comes to hanging out. You’re always asking him when he’s free and moving your schedule around to accommodate him. Because deep down you know you probably wouldn’t see him for weeks otherwise.
He steps up his game when you ask him to (but not for long)
If you bring up his half-assed effort, he’ll apologize and give an excuse. He’ll then change up his behavior to placate you. Essentially, he becomes the guy you wish he’d be but not for long. Eventually, he goes back to his old ways: treating you like an option, not his choice.
He treats you like a therapist
At first, his ability to share his feelings with you is a major turn-on. He talks about what’s going on internally and confides in you about his problems. He also seems to sincerely value your advice when it comes to his life. This makes you feel as though you’re building emotional closeness and you begin to feel invested in his well-being.
But when you try and have discussions with him about you, it never lasts long and that’s because he doesn’t seem to really hear you at all. Maybe he acts distracted by messing with his phone or he rushes to give you a solution that isn’t really pertinent to what you’re saying at all. He “listens” because he feels like he has to in order to keep getting access to your mind, not because he genuinely wants to help or support you.
You’ve never met his friends or family
You feel completely remote from the people he holds closest. You’ve never met any family or friends, even when you’ve expressed interest in meeting them. In fact, you’re not entirely sure they know you exist at all.
He experiences “intimacy amnesia”
“Intimacy amnesia” is when you bring up a meaningful conversation you shared or something physical you did and he doesn’t see to share the same memory you do. In other words, he forgot. This shows he doesn’t have the same connection to your time spent together as you do. He’s not invested.
You’re cool to know
He wouldn’t keep you on the hook if you didn’t have many amazing things to offer. He knows you’re a catch. You’re cool to know and make him feel good that someone like you would give him the time of day, not to mention like him so much.
But you are better than that. Don’t be his confidence boost. If you want a relationship with him and he keeps putting off committing, that’s all you need to know to move on. Indecision is a decision. If he won’t close the door, you can close the door yourself.
