11 Signs You’re Healing So Much More Than You Realize

The road to healing is often long, difficult, and humbling. Because of this, it can be hard to see how much progress you’ve truly made. As such, here are 11 signs that show you’re healing so much more than you give yourself credit for.

1. You still get triggered. But you now understand that healing isn’t about controlling the triggers but regulating your emotional and physical responses to them. You might even have a number of strategies you can employ, such as a deep breathing meditation, that help you return to a calmer, more grounded place after something upsetting happens.
2. You doubt yourself. But you don’t let that fear of failure dictate what you do, at least not anymore. Instead, you give yourself a chance to get things wrong. To get rejected. To screw up. You understand these are not indictments of your character but actually all part of being alive and human.
3. You let yourself truly feel what it is you need to. You’ve learned that feelings will always, always, always come back up, no matter how hard you try to ignore them and push them aside. Now you give yourself the space and grace required for feeling because you know this is integral to moving forward and letting go.
4. You don’t act on impulse but intention. At least most of the time.
5. You feel like a different person than you have been before. But you still have a warmth and protection for your former selves because you recognize you had to be all of those different iterations of you in order to be the person you are today, just as the person you are today is fundamental to the person you’ll be next year.
6. You’ve stopped avoiding uncomfortable conversations. You understand they need to be had. After all, conflict doesn’t end relationships; resentment does.
7. Your life doesn’t look the way you thought it would. But you’re okay with that. For example, maybe 17-year-old you pictured 25-year-old you thriving in a big city but you’re living in a studio apartment in your hometown instead. Rather than feeling shame, you feel proud you’re carving out a space for yourself in the world. Even though it isn’t necessiarly your dream life, you know it’s better because it’s your real life. Besides, dreams always require you to wake up.
8. You’ve started asking for help when you need it. Even when it’s hard or makes you feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. You’re starting to give yourself the space to have needs and that it’s okay to have others help you the way you help them.
9. You have healthier relationships. Including the one with yourself.
10. You take accountability for your mistakes. Feedback and constructive criticism don’t make you defensive anymore. You’ve grown too much for that. Now, you apologize when you screw up without thinking you’re a totally shit human for the mistake. You just learn from it and do better.
11. You understand the things that have hurt you weren’t your fault. But you are also aware that just because you didn’t deserve the painful things that happened to you doesn’t mean you are exempt from healing from them. You actively seek out your healing, whether that’s through therapy or your own research. You realize healing is the greatest gift you can give yourself and some of the most important, self-actualizing work you’ll do while you’re here.