The “soft life” (or “soft era”) lifestyle is one that rose in popularity thanks to TikTok. The soft life is one that rejects hustle culture and toxic productivity and embraces rest and slowness instead. While the soft life usually is used to help create a healthier work-life balance, there are many tenants of the soft life that can actually be applied to dating too.
Here are five soft life habits that will totally transform your love life.
1. Set. Firm. Boundaries.
Boundaries are an essential component of living the soft life, and boundaries are also necessary for having a positive dating experience.
Boundaries help us establish expectations in our relationships and provide guidelines for how we want and need to be treated. Boundaries truly are the foundation of healthy dating because they keep us safe and empowered. Loose or non-existent boundaries, on the other hand, make us vulnerable and unhappy.
Some examples of soft life dating boundaries can include:
- How often you want to communicate via text or call
- When you will be available by phone
- Not tolerating disrespect
- What you feel comfortable doing sexually
2. Prioritize having fun.
In other words, take the pressure off a bit, even if you are looking for a committed partnership. Dating should be fun and the person you’re seeing should add joy to your life. And in the rules of the soft life, putting your joy first is key.
So, if someone you’re dating is making you unhappy or if the time you spend with them leaves you feeling drained or anxious, this is not only a sign of incompatibility but it also indicates you might be wasting your time. Sure, relationships do take work and aren’t always easy, but they shouldn’t be hard. Especially in the beginning stages! Forcing a relationship will never be the right move. And honestly? If you’re not enjoying your time with someone, what’s the point? Be truthful with yourself if something isn’t working with someone so you can move forward.
3. Take frequent breaks.
While dating should be fun, it can still be a tiring process. Rejection happens and heartbreak will never not suck. And especially in today’s dating culture, dating is only becoming more and more frustrating with situationships being the norm and lackluster effort being the baseline because so many people are afraid of showing they care. It’s exhausting.
This is why taking a step back when you’re feeling defeated or wounded is important. Remember, the soft life is about prioritizing rest and wellness. It’s okay to take a step back when you need to do so.
4. Be intentional.
Intentionality is a core component of soft life living, and dating from a place of intention will greatly improve your love life. Be mindful about who gets your time and how much of it. Be honest about what you’re looking for and walk away from those who aren’t able or willing to give you what you want. Know your standards and weed out anyone who doesn’t align with those values.
5. Slow down.
Ignore the sense of urgency that is trying to rush you into love. There is no deadline for romance because there will always be someone else to love. Slow down because this helps you be intentional but also takes the pressure out of dating a bit. Racing through dates won’t help you find true love any faster than taking your time and being mindful. In fact, barreling from Hinge match to Bumble match might actually impede your shots more. Embrace slowness. Enjoy the ride. Remember you still have time.
