How Do You Make Love Stay?

Stop Looking, Love Finds You (Not The Other Way Around)

I don’t believe everything happens for a reason.

Most things that happen to us in this life we are unprepared for. Our existence is random and unpredictable. Shit happens, things come together only to fall apart, and yet we find a way to keep going anyway. We find hidden strength in our shaking bones to move forward despite not knowing what’s going to happen next; what could go wrong next. We only have our past as a blueprint. It’s the only thing we know for sure. The future is a blank slate. Anything could happen, both good and bad.

And that’s both comforting and really fucking scary all at once. 

One of the good things we hope to happen to us is love. As human beings, we’re wired for love. Yes, we can say it’s just a neurochemical reaction but if that’s how we’re biologically created, that’s pretty damn beautiful, no? And since it’s literally part of our nature to love and be loved, most of us will spend our lives seeking it out. Some of us will find our person early on, but many will not. And for some of us who have not found love, we start to compare ourselves to friends and family and random people we’ve never met who have found love and become cynical and bitter. Jaded. Sad.

We start to wonder why it hasn’t happened for us and also begin to worry that it will never happen at all. In turn, we convince ourselves we are broken and unwanted and unlovable. We draft lists in our mind as to why we are currently single and return to those reasons when it’s late and we’re lonely and everything is hurting.

It’s a vicious fucking cycle.

But you know what? In life, most things we don’t see coming. We’re constantly caught off guard and surprised and blindsided.

And if most things in life we don’t see coming, why should we expect love to be any different?

Believe me when I say that love will find you when you least expect it.

Some call this serendipity, the finding of something good when you weren’t looking. Some call it fate, that whatever is meant to be will be. Some claim it to be destiny, the workings of the universe, of God, etc. Whatever the forces behind this thing called love may be, you need to trust that it’s out there for you if you want it.

You can’t plan for it. There’s no formula. It’s not a science. There’s no reason it hasn’t worked out before. We’re always thinking we should be someplace else with someone else but the truth is you’re exactly where you need to be, right here, right now.

Let it all go. Let it all fall apart. And most importantly, let it all be.

Stop forcing relationships that you deep down know aren’t good for you. Stop chasing people who do not want to be caught. Stop swiping through dating apps because you feel like you need to find someone RIGHT NOW or you never will.

Instead, do you. Live your life. Love will follow. It always does.

Please, just give it time and stop looking because love finds you, not the other way around.  Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer. Editor. Hufflepuff. Dog person.

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