What To Do Instead Of Chasing Him

Jeff Isy

Instead of chasing him, put on Modest Mouse and think about all the ways you’ve let yourself down lately. Breathe along to the rhythm of “The World At Large” as you promise yourself for the 15th time that you’re finally done getting wrapped up in someone who doesn’t want you, and know you mean it this time. Feel free and heavy all at once.

Apologize to him, to yourself, to the wind. Have dreams where you cannot speak. Let yesterday stay where it is, lean into tomorrow, and breathe. Tiptoe on the edge of total acceptance and total denial and realize that maybe this is what it means to let go.

Realize that the further you push your feelings down, the deeper they become planted in your veins. Understand this very well because that is what has happened here. Finally allow all of those emotions and wishes and disappointments to grow. Feel everything you’ve sent away, and feel it deeply.

Recover on your own. Reclaim your pride. Come home to yourself. Miss him but don’t see him. Know you still love him but do not chase him. Be too proud to delete his number but continue to draft texts you’ll never send.

Slowly break free from the pain and then run back to it, but never to him.

Not anymore.

Remember kissing him like it was the last time and realize that it was. Think back to the times you spent together and watch all of the moments fade into something you no longer relate to, something that looks different, harder. Not as beautiful. Something that actually resembles reality rather than what you wish it was.

Swear to yourself you’ll do better, and then do so. Stop reaching out for hands that will only hold you in the middle of the night. Stop pretending that you don’t feel what it is you do. Honor it.

Watch documentaries on minimalism and Joan Didion and think about all the ways you’re going to change your life, how you’re going to design one without him in it. Read The Year Of Magical Thinking and cry every 15 pages.

Take three ibuprofen after a late night at the bar with your friends. Hope it kicks in fast. Roll over to the side of the couch where you slept last night and check your phone. 8:03 a.m. Groan. Get up, find your glasses, and tiptoe out of your best friend’s loft in Detroit. Drive home with only the company of falling snow and the voices singing from your speakers.

Feel okay. TC mark

Molly Burford

Writer. Editor. Hufflepuff. Dog person.

Poetry That Will Empower and Inspire You

Salt Water, the new poetry collection by Brianna Wiest, is a must-have book on your journey to healing. Grab a cup of tea and let these essential, purifying prose calm your mind and filter out the noise.

Salt Water is a slow deep breath, in and out. It sits in a new genre of poetry, somewhere between artistic self-expression and candid self-help. It is a meditation on acceptance, growth, and what it means to be human. Salt Water is the note you wrote to yourself years ago, which you find again when you most need it, that reminds you ‘it’s going to be okay.’”
—Lee Crutchley, Author of “How To Be Happy, Or At Least Less Sad”

Buy the book
Powered by Revcontent

Bring magic to your Instagram feed ✨

You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

“It’s just wondrous how every time I go through some emotional trauma, your posts are so relatable and it gives me so much hope. I love the writing and the photos. It’s all a pleasure to read. I can’t thank you enough for it, really.” — DM from @ThoughtCatalog Instagram follower

Bring beauty to your feed

More From Thought Catalog