Fall In Love With Someone Who Understands The Chaos In Your Heart

couple staring into each other's eyes
Toa Heftiba

Scars tell us that we have healed. They represent time. They validate strength. They remind us that once in our lives we have been hurt, that we have experienced pain, but we have survived. So here’s to us learning not to hate our scars, and understanding that it is our right to open up only to someone who understands that amidst the chaos inside our hearts, the universe living inside us still deserves to be seen, like how all the stars and tiny black holes in us deserve to be appreciated.

Fall in love with someone who understands that you could sometimes shut people out and, without any warning, fall into anxiety and depression. Have someone who accepts that there are times in your life when you just can’t avoid but get sad because you feel like there’s either a lot that’s going on or no reason at all. It’s not a disease, and you don’t need to be cured; hence you should fall in love with someone who knows that what you only need is time and perhaps just a little bit of affection that shows that he cares. That he is not frustrated by you. That you could take shelter in him. That he is your comfort. Fall in love with someone who patiently waits. Someone who embraces your vulnerability and takes note of how fragile you could be, and sees these things as more reasons to love you. Someone who understands that what you’re feeling isn’t something that you can run away from. Someone who despite not fully understanding what you’re going through at times, still tries.

Fall in love with someone who appreciates the beauty and calms the monster in you. Love someone who sees both your grandeur and your flaws. Someone who sees the twinkle in your eyes and the tears that fall from them. Someone who would love you with no fear. Someone who’s confident that he is there to stay beside you for better or for worse. Fall in love with someone who understands that you are, and will always be, a complicated person. That you are neither black nor white, and not even gray. Someone who sees all the colors in you. Someone who appreciates when you are a rainbow, and embraces you when you are a storm. Someone who doesn’t leave during the first sign of a hurricane. His love shall be his strength. And while it isn’t perfect as it may falter at times, you will stay together because he will find inspiration in your presence just as you take solace in his embrace.

Fall in love with someone who sees you more than how you see yourself. Because he is a friend, he will be both a confidant and a lover – and that’s the best other half you could ever have. He will be someone you could fart with and clink wine glasses with. Someone you could rely on during the days when you feel like you’re the worst. Someone who could describe you using a hundred adjectives. Fall in love with a friend who can see you beyond your soul. He should be someone who knows exactly what your favorite food is when you don’t even know it yourself. He should tell you that you are the most beautiful thing in the world, but should also have the ability to tell you that there are times when you have tendencies to look plain and even hideous. You would laugh at things like these, and you would laugh at a thousand more nonsensical things than these.

Fall in love with someone who knows exactly what could make you happy, and still tells you that it’s okay to be sad. It’s important to have someone by your side who knows ways of making you happy but it’s even more important to have someone who can be beside you when you’re sad. As someone whose heart is in permanent chaos, fall in love with someone who complements you in a way that you’ll always try to be the best version of yourself. Fall in love with someone who sees your scars and kisses them ever so gently that you almost feel as if they were disappearing. This someone will not force you to be happy but make genuine efforts to alleviate any pain that you’re feeling. This someone will strive to make you less sad because seeing you sad makes them sad as much as seeing you happy makes them happy. Fall in love with this person, because only then you will realize the worth of all the pain and suffering you experienced in the past.

This person will come. Maybe later, maybe tomorrow, maybe even in a few more years. That day will come. But until then, patiently wait. Wait for this someone who understands the chaos living inside your heart and still recognize your charm and familiarity with adoration and tenderness. Wait for this someone who will take pride in taking care of all the blemishes in your skin, the changes in your mood, the mistakes you make, and the scars in your heart. Wait for this someone who will stay no matter how strong the wind gets because waiting is also believing, and faith is as powerful as love. Believe that no matter how much chaos you are in right now, God is preparing someone who will come into your life and make you realize that every pain in the past actually, wonderfully makes sense. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

MJ Mariano

It’s what we ache for that matters.

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