When I was 20 years old, I used to tell myself that by the time I was 30, I would be happily married and everything would be perfect. Ten years later, I am not married and my life is far from perfect. In fact, I am still a big fucking mess, but I am at peace with it.
I used to think that a soulmate was someone somewhere out there in the world who was constructed to complete me. I believed that once I found my soulmate, I would be happy, complete, and all my worries would disappear. I often fantasized about having a Disney-type of love—you know, when the prince saves the princess and they ride off together into the sunset and live happily ever after.
But I am not a damn princess, and I live in the real world. And in the real world, love is not that easy to find.
I have swum oceans trying to find my soulmate. I have navigated storm after storm, hoping that I would find my soulmate on the other side of the rainbow. I have walked miles barefooted in treacherous forests in the quest to find my soulmate. Then I came to the realization that my soulmate was not that far away from me. After many heartbreaks and yearning to find the love of my life, I’ve finally found it…
I am the love of my life. I am my own soulmate.
The moment I stopped looking for my soulmate is the day I found it. I found it within myself. I started giving myself everything I wanted a soulmate to give me – all that love, compassion, kindness and acceptance. Instead of waiting for someone else to adore me, I took a look within to see how special I truly was.
I don’t have to be with a man to be happy and complete. I don’t have to be married by a certain age, either. It took me years to realize that my life doesn’t have a timeline, and the man that God has picked out for me will come into my life when the time is right. I know one day I’ll find the one, but until then, I will be my own soulmate.
I am not less of a person because I’m single. It doesn’t mean that I am lacking anything. It doesn’t mean that I am not enough. It doesn’t mean the time is running out and that I will end up alone. It doesn’t mean I’m not worth loving. You can’t rush love. Love just takes longer to find some people. Some are lucky to have already found their soulmate and others, like me, are still patiently waiting.
I don’t need to spend my time trying to find “the one.” After all, I already have someone who appreciates me, values me, and accepts me the way I am. I’ve found someone to take care of me, to respect me, to motivate me and push me to be better. I have someone who loves me unconditionally — and that someone is me.
I no longer feel the need to make myself look beautiful just so someone will fall in love with me—I do it for myself. I no longer feel the need to have the perfect body shape to make someone fall in love with me—I take care of my body for myself. I no longer hide my various flaws just so someone will fall in love with me, because I’ve learned to love myself.
I do want to get married one day. I look forward to the day that I marry the man of my dreams. But I am no longer wasting any energy in looking for someone; I am investing all my energy and time in myself.
I may not be in love, but I have learned to find love in many different ways. Love does not only have to come from your significant other; love is everywhere. Love resides within myself, my passions and the people I love.
I’ve already found the perfect partner in myself, and I will be my own soulmate until someone comes along to take that position.
One day I’ll find the one, but I am okay with waiting, because ultimately, I am my own soulmate.