I’d Rather Be Alone Than Compromise My Standards

Sometimes being single can get very lonely, even for those of us who are perfectly happy being single. I would say that most of us are fascinated by the possibility of falling in love with someone else.

I am the single one in my friend group — everyone else is either married, engaged or in a relationship. I’ve been told by a hundred different people that my standards are too high and I need to lower them or that I want too much and ask for too much.

I have high standards, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to turn down every guy who approaches me. I am not out here actively looking for a man, but if someone came along who I really connected with, then I would open to pursuing it and give it a try to see where things go.

I truly believe that having someone to share myself with romantically is a beautiful thing and it can bring a lot of happiness to my life. But I simply trust my gut when it comes to getting to know someone new, and I am very selective about who I spend my time with. I want to be with someone who I have a positive connection with, rather than settling for a warm body next to me.

I am single, but I still date and keep my options open. I have dated some men for a few months or so. I’ve had first dates that turned into second dates and third dates, and I’ve had a few that never made it past the first. I have met attractive, interesting men who treated me well and I had fun with them. I haven’t had one terrible date. I bet you’re wondering: If I have met wonderful men, how come I am still single? Well, it turns out that a man can be a good man but that does not mean that he is good for me.

I have always been a woman that is upfront and honest about my wants and needs, and I want to make sure that the man that I am dating is aware of my standards and what I require from a relationship. If he is okay with my standards, then we will continue dating, but if he says I am asking for too much or I am making silly demands, then I will politely wish him the best and walk away.

I’d rather be alone than compromise my standards. I know who I am and what I have to offer, so I am not going to lower the bar just so some man can reach it.

When you compromise, you’re only lowering your standards. And when you do that, you are also lowering your value. Compromising your standards never ends well, because when you start compromising your lifestyle, personality, and values to meet someone else’s ideal, then that can turn you into someone you are not, and you will never be truly happy. Because the second you compromise your standards, you lose your power. You lose yourself. You’ve given up on finding someone who truly suits you. You’ve given up on your own happiness. You’ve lost your worth.

My standards are what define me, and I am not going to settle just so I can say I have someone. I have never had a problem being alone. I enjoy my own company and I want to have a happy and meaningful relationship one day, and the only way I will get that is if I remain true to myself and keep my standards high.

The one thing I’ve learned over my adult years is this: Don’t settle for anything less than something you truly want. 

I know I am not the only one that feels this way, and I know that there are wonderful men out there who are just waiting to find the right person, too. I don’t believe that my standards are “too high” or unrealistic. I know that one day a man will come along that will meet and exceed my standards, but until then I will just enjoy being happy alone. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

A writer writing love, life and her cancer journey.💚

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