No, You Don't Deserve A Second Chance

No, You Don’t Deserve A Second Chance

Here you are at my doorstep knocking on my door, pleading and begging for another chance. You tell me this time around things will be different, that you have changed, and that you are ready now.

But I have some questions. Why now? Why not then? Did you have to sleep in another woman’s bed to see that no one could compare to me? Did you have to spend time in another woman’s arms to realize no one could comfort you the way I did? Did you have to kiss other lips to realize that no one else tasted like me?

Now, you say that you want a second chance because you didn’t realize how much you cared about me until I was gone for good. My absence made you miss me, and you want me back now. You want us back, but now you are a little too late.

Let me remind you of all the times I waited for you but you never came. Of all those text messages that were read but never responded to. All those times I needed you, but you were too busy for me. All those sleepless nights when you made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. And all those times that you took me for granted.

You are now asking for a second chance. My answer is simple.

No, you don’t deserve a second chance.

It shouldn’t take losing me for you to realize that I matter. It shouldn’t take losing me for you to realize my worth. You should have realized how much I mattered, and what my worth was the first time around.

If I was to give you another chance, this wouldn’t be your second chance. It would be your hundredth, or millionth chance. I already gave you too many chances in the past.

Every time you left me hanging, I gave you plenty of chances to come around and make up for it, and you didn’t. Every promise that you broke, I gave you plenty of chances to redeem yourself and make things right, but you didn’t.

I tried. I waited. I was patient. I was hopeful that one day you would make things work for us, and you didn’t. I gave and I gave, and all you did was take and take. At the end, it was me that was left empty and broken. I gave you too much of myself, and you never gave me enough of you.

I don’t let people into my life easily, and I also don’t let go easily. When I love someone, I try to hold on to them for as long as I can, but once I let go, I let go for good. I tried to hold on to you, but you slipped through my fingers, leaving them bruised and covered in blood because I held on too tightly. My hands lost all their strength, I had to let go. I let you go.

I cannot give you another chance. Giving you another chance would be like handing you a bow and an arrow, and giving you the opportunity to pierce my heart once again. You hurt me bad enough once and I won’t let you do it again. You are a risk, I am not willing to take.

Yes, we are humans, we make mistakes, and some people deserve second chances. However, I don’t give second chances to people that broke my heart and broke my trust.

I’ve learned that not everyone deserves my love, and those that have hurt me definitely don’t deserve second chances. I cared for you, I still have love for you but I have to listen to my heart. I have to say no, you don’t deserve another chance.

Giving second chances has never worked out for me before. I’ve learned that after being fucked over once, it’s even worse the second time around. And I will never make that mistake again.

You lost my trust, and without trust, a relationship means nothing. I can’t trust you anymore and nothing you say is going to change the way I feel. Nothing you do is going to make me change my mind. You had a chance to be a part of my life and you fucked it up. I’m not going to keep giving you do-overs. I don’t have the time for that. I’ve moved on and so should you.

My heart is not a revolving door for you to come and go as you please. I opened my heart to you, and you didn’t appreciate it. You decided to leave, and when you left I locked the door behind you and threw the key into the ocean where it could never be found again. You are not welcome back. You don’t belong here. Please turn around and leave.

Quit begging for a second chance, you don’t deserve it. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

A writer writing love, life and her cancer journey.💚

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