Hate To Break It To You But If They Cheat They Don’t Really Love You

girl in the snowy mountains
Joe Yates

If you ask someone the worst thing their partner could do to them, most of them would probably say “cheating.”

Finding out your partner has been unfaithful is heartbreaking and devastating.

I have heard many reasons why men and women cheat, they say women cheat because they need affection and attention. They say men cheat out of “lust” and don’t feel appreciated, they are not being satisfied and they go somewhere else to get what they want.

Reasons why women and men cheat are very different. But whatever the reason may be the truth is if you cheat, you don’t truly love that person.

Anyone that says they are in love with the person they cheated on, it’s bullshit.

I know this, I’ve been there.

I am going to start off by saying I was a cheater once, I am not a saint.

I was in my early 20s and have been with this guy for a little while, he was a nice guy I had love for him, but I was not in love with him. I really liked him but when I found someone else that caught my attention I cheated. Why did I do it? I believe my urge to cheat was from never really wanting to commit to the relationship, but still selfishly wanting all the benefits of having one. I cheated because, I cared for my ex-boyfriend but NOT ENOUGH, I love him but NOT ENOUGH, I did it for lust and out of curiosity. I didn’t care enough about my relationship to risk ruining it. I didn’t respect him enough.

Fast forward to my mid 20s, I was 25 when I met my fiancé, the moment we met sparks flew, I felt something for him that I have never felt before. For the first time in my love life, I was truly in love, madly, head-over-heels in love. After a year he proposed, I said yes but our wedding plans got put on hold because he was an active army member and he got deployed. While he was out the country, there were times where I got really lonely and horny, but the thought of being with another man never crossed my mind, I did not have eyes for any other man but him.

The difference with this relationship is that I had a deep and profound respect for my fiancé. He was thousands of miles away, and well getting a man has never been a problem for me, if I wanted to, I could have easily cheated, but the idea of hurting someone I respected so much would break my heart. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t try to hurt him in any way, I was repulsed by the thought of letting another guy touch me.

Now you see the difference.

You can love a person but if you cheat you do not LOVE them enough. True love is selfless and sacrificial. You could never cheat on someone you truly love, you just couldn’t. True love never involves cheating. Your partner should protect you and look out for your best interests, always wanting you to be happy and you should do the same. You could never break the heart of someone you love by cheating.

True love is solid and complete.

If you are in a relationship and feel as your partner can’t fully satisfy you or you feel like you’re missing something, then you need to question yourself why are you in this relationship? If you have urges to cheat, you do not respect him or her enough not to betray stray. Your infidelity is all the proof you need that the two of you are not right for each other.

Cheating breaks respect and trust. Cheating is a violation of this. If you take away trust and respect, what is left of the relationship? What is a relationship without some loyalty and certainty?

When love cannot be consistent and stable, then it is not true love.

All the consequences of cheating are all negative guilt, mistrust, lies, and betrayal. Those who take love seriously understand that true love outweighs any immediate pleasure gained from cheating.

If you truly loved this person with all your heart, there would be no one else. Other men or women would not even exist for you.

You can feel love for your partner, care of your partner and have feelings for them but if you cheat you DO NOT love them enough, you are not in love with them.

At the end of the day, cheating is cheating — it is wrong.

We are all humans, we make mistakes but cheating is poison. If you truly love someone, not cheating is easy. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Mitzi J Hernandez

A writer writing love, life and her cancer journey.💚

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