God, I’m Giving You Control Over My Heart

Since I was 18, I’ve been praying for a husband.

My Bible studies encouraged me to make a list of things I want in a partner, so I wrote down everything I wanted, and then I prayed for it every night.

The list has changed, and based on my experiences, stuff like “he has to have green eyes and he has to be a photographer” have changed to stuff like “I want a partner that has a relationship with God, someone who makes me feel proud of him, someone that loves my family and who my family loves back”.

Last year was the first time I fell in love with someone, and he was everything but the good, godly man I prayed for. That relationship broke my heart, but looking back, it was a blessing in disguise.

Since him, I haven’t dated anyone, and my relationship with God has grown closer. It’s not perfect, and there are days where I have doubts. I constantly wonder if God hears my prayers when it comes to my dating life. I wonder if He created a human in this world for me. I’ve had a hard time dealing with this, but yesterday night, I realized I just have to wait and trust.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Even though it’s easier said than done, I decided to start believing and living by this.

I decided to start believing that God knows me better than I know myself, so if He knows me that well, He knows exactly what I need in life and what I like. I was afraid that if I gave God the pen of my love story, He was going to send me someone I didn’t like or someone I wasn’t attracted to. But last year, my life was a testimony that God knows me so well that He blessed me with stuff I didn’t expect, stuff I end up loving and giving thanks for every night.

If you are like me, a hopeless romantic who always craves the love story you see everywhere but your life, I want to tell you that you are not alone. Just like you and me, there are a lot of people waiting for it to happen, and it will when the time is right.

Meanwhile, start being grateful to God for everything He is doing in other areas of your life. You might not have that special person yet, but right now you have a lot of opportunities when it comes to work and school. You might not have the relationship of your dreams, but you have other wonderful things, like a happy and healthy family or an awesome group of friends.

The devil knows our weak points, and he knows where, when and how to attack us. It’s a challenge for sure, but our faith and our love for God has to be bigger than that.

God is good.

God is real.

In His timing, He will make things happen.

Trust him.