Why You’re Beautiful

You’re beautiful because you’re stronger than anyone thought. I didn’t think you were at first. I expected the pain of your wrecked relationship to eat you alive. I expected you to burst into tears spontaneously every day for the next decade, stop washing your hair and only smile faintly when someone asked how you were doing. I thought you would still be wearing the ring alone in your apartment, self-medicating to the point where it was no longer a #whitegirlproblem but an actual problem. But you pushed through it. You’re happy and healthy now, and you refer to yourself as “I” rather than “we.” I couldn’t be prouder of you.

You’re beautiful because you take risks. You substituted “who cares” for “what if” and stopped talking into your beer about how you were going to do it and actually did it. You weren’t afraid to take a crazy stupid chance on your crazy stupid dreams, kind of like that chick in Eat Pray Love except you didn’t have to become an ashram-cleaning cliché to find yourself and didn’t leave me with popcorned fingers and a diminishing sense of pre-packaged optimism. You’re an inspiration and you’re real.

You’re beautiful because you just don’t give a damn. You don’t need everyone to like you, agree with you or approve of you to feel good about yourself. You know that “good enough” is subjective, and that more often than not the subject doesn’t really matter anyway. I know you’ll never wake up suddenly 45 and nowhere, half your time and potential wasted on following someone else’s idiot advice. That’s the kind of thing that gives me hope for myself.

You’re beautiful because you taught me something invaluable that I would never have come to know on my own. You taught me that there are some things love does not conquer — that you can love someone with all your heart and skin and organs and it will change completely nothing. You gave me a practical lesson: that a relationship cannot be carried by only one of its halves. You made me realize I am not special, and that’s important because I spent a good part of my life thinking I was. Assuming Keats was right and beauty is truth, you are beautiful.

You’re beautiful because you take pride in ironically showcasing that you’re not. You laugh at the silly standards of conventional beauty and elevate armpit hair, blue-veined pallor and Chucks held together by luck alone to a whole new level. You will never be the one to drop six grand on an anti-aging cream made from red algae and gorilla spit because when you’re eighty, you will be proud of the history that gave you those wrinkles. The thing is, you are absolutely stunning.

You’re beautiful because you’re brave. You know there’s more to life than measuring how long you have — you came face to face with your own mortality and turned to look the other way. Everyone knows cancer is a big deal but somehow it’s an even bigger deal when someone close to you gets it. You’re the one with the cancer but for some reason you still hold me when I cry. How you still manage to look miles better than most “healthy” people is beyond me.

You’re beautiful because you believe in things. Even when it’s easier to be cynical, skeptical, hyper-rational, you keep believing because you know believing in things is what makes them real. You’re beautiful for that reason, because you can do something lots of people can’t. I know I can’t. I admire you and sometimes I’m jealous.

You’re beautiful and you shouldn’t wait for someone else to tell you. You already know it, just see it. TC mark

image – Shutterstock

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  • http://twitter.com/danaer Dana Schrack

    “You’re beautiful because you taught me something invaluable that I would never have come to know on my own. You taught me that there are some things love does not conquer — that you can love someone with all your heart and skin and organs and it will change completely nothing.” this is exactly what I needed to read this morning.

  • http://twitter.com/AlkalineSuicide Alkaline Suicide

    oh a small tear. this is lovely.

  • http://twitter.com/Elratonvaquero_ Yaron Haro

    Just Lovely :) 

  • Hannah

    I absolutely love this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=539592740 Viktoriya Gaponski

    Beautiful

  • Robbie

    what is happening to this site? :(

    • Guest

      What do you dislike about this?

      • Robbie

        It’s well written. But it’s saccharin. It lacks depth, IMO. No criticism of the writer herself. But it just smacks of the sentimental to me. I don’t recognise reality in it.

      • Hannah

        … What is so unreal about sentiment?

      • Robbie

        It’s the difference between saying you love someone when you are sober and saying you love someone when you are drunk. 

      • Letitia

        I have never been drunk in my life and I can still say this about the people I love.

      • Anonymous

        I actually say such things when I’m not drunk. Sure, it’s a bit over-sentimental, but sometimes being over-sentimental is neccesary

      • beatrice

        sometimes fiction is better than reality. 

  • Mkomar200

    this was a perfect way to start my day at work, beautifully written

  • Vannleih_solidum

    Why so serious? :o *cries and runs to room to do some self-reflection*

  • Jesssim6

    Gorgeous.

  • http://twitter.com/Mzrobinlea Robin Spinner

    I loved this.

    Especially this:

    “You know that “good enough” is subjective, and that more often than not the subject doesn’t really matter anyway.”

  • Jessica

    What a beautiful piece. This is exactly what I needed to read this morning.

  • Anonymous

    this site sucks.

    • Nicole

      Kaitlyn, you’re beautiful because you’re honest.

  • Anonymous

    I’m beginning to suspect this wasn’t about me at all!

  • http://twitter.com/scruzz Shawn

    Stunning.

  • Josie

    I started to choke up. It’s beautiful. You definitely have a way with words. Kudos to you! :)

  • Roblea17

    Except for the cancer , it was like someone crawled into my memories, saw what lay there, then tenderly embraced me, cradling my broken mind, whispering to me.  What you see as maudlin or saccharine, is highly personal to me. Thank you, Mila.  You have no idea what this piece meant to me.

  • Guest

    “You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all a part of the same compost pile.”

    • Mila Jaroniec

      I thought about putting that in the end as a disclaimer

  • Kiely

    this is incredible

  • http://bharatbuysell.com Free India Classifieds

    This is really Motivational Article

  • pgebrayel

    I stumbled onto this and i read it, and i was recently diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. This was so beautifully written. It really got to me. 

  • Sophia

    This is beautiful. But seriously, why does everyone hate on Eat, Pray, Love? I really loved it.

  • http://theointhecity1.blogspot.com/ Theo

    Beautifully written.

  • Thought Catalog

    Reblogged this on Slimy yet Satisfying..

  • http://becausepinay.wordpress.com/2012/06/12/wisdom-mila-jaroniec-on-beauty/ wisdom: Mila Jaroniec on beauty | the BE cause

    […] Read the rest of it here. […]

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