I desperately, whole-heartedly, want to be taken care of. Not in the pathetic, annoying sense. But in the loving and caring sense. I want someone to do little things for me, just because they know it will make my life easier. I don’t want people to always ask for something in return—I just want them to things selflessly.

As the oldest child of three and a stubborn, independent 20-something, I have lived the last two decades of my life caring for and giving to others. Editing papers for my little brother, consoling my younger sister, taking care of friends and significant others at the drop of a hat. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love my family and friends, I truly, wholeheartedly do. And I would do anything for them. But sometimes I feel like the relationships aren’t reciprocal in the way I need them to be—and part of that is my fault.

I’m bad at asking people for help, which is part of that whole “stubborn” thing. I’m generally poor at admitting that I’m wrong, which doesn’t make the situation any better. But what a lot of people don’t know is that the independent, kick-ass, givers often need a special type of caring. Since we are the caregivers for so many, and we love with such fervor and boundlessness, we need to feel something in return.

I don’t mean to say that I feel like my friends or family don’t take care of me, because they most certainly do. But I feel like there are certain times when the universe expects the world from people like me, and we just can’t give it to them. I can’t just give all of the time. I need to take, too.

So, next time you’re thinking about yourself or all the things that you need, look around. Even the people who look like they’ve got their life together probably don’t. They need. They want. So give them something.