Michael Malice

Having abs (for me at least) is like having gone to Harvard: It’s the sort of thing you have to mention within minutes of meeting anyone.

What do Bill Kristol, Jeb Bush, Elizabeth Warren, Ted Cruz, and Glenn Beck all have in common? Donald Trump has destroyed their will to live.

Being a cop is the only profession where it’s not only appropriate to yell at strangers—it’s necessary.

1. Insist that Canada isn’t really a country.

Of course Shakespeare was great for his time. So is rotten food.