Those 3 words you sent me today made me feel a rush of emotions. Those 8 letters may not seem like much, but it got me. The butterflies in my stomach won’t stop fluttering, my hands itch to touch you again, my skin aches to feel you, my mind wanders to the thoughts of us together, and my heart beats with every bit of might it has left just to continue to live on each day; counting down the days, waiting to see you again.
I miss you like the sun misses the flower. You are my light and you are my sunshine. You help me grow each day. From dusk to dawn you were always there for me, even when I couldn’t see you. I miss you when the stars above shine alongside the moon. Even if we’re miles apart, we still lie under the same sky, look at the same stars and stare at the same moon. Every night I’d wait for a shooting star just so I could wish that we could be together. I’d lay awake thinking of the days I’d get to see you again. I’d think of the ways I’d greet you and welcome you back into my arms. The thought of the distance between us kills me every time, but the thought of seeing you again makes everything worth it.
I miss you when I’d wake up to a long message you’d send me right after I’d fallen asleep. You’d tell me about the things you were too afraid to say, you’d tell me how much you love me, you’d say you missed me and you can’t stop thinking about me. I miss you when I see your name appear on my screen. A simple text from you goes a long way. Every message, photo, or whatever you send me always makes my heart skip a beat. I love that you’d tell me about your day and send pictures of the places you’ve been and stories of the experiences you’ve had. How I wish you could’ve told me all these things in person; or better yet, I wish I was there to see and feel those things with you.
I miss you when I hear the sound of your voice. If I could just reach into the phone and grab you out of there, I would. I miss your laugh, your smile, your touch. I miss the way your breath would tickle my neck whenever you’d whisper something in my ear. I miss the way you snore, even though I hate it so much. I miss the way you’d groan whenever I’d wake you up in the morning. I miss everything I hear that comes out of your mouth. But most of all, I miss your kisses. Soft, slow, tender, passionate… I miss your hands in my hair and the way they travel all over my body. My skin tingles to feel your touch again, and my lips ache to reunite with yours. It’s torture not being able to kiss you and hug you, but one day we won’t have to wait any longer because we’ll finally be together.
I miss you when I see the color green. I know it’s not the color of your eyes, but it’s your favorite color. The trees and grass would remind me of you. Seeing a green shirt or even a green apple would make me miss you even more. It would remind me of all the things I missed with you, like the times I didn’t get to cheer you on when you played basketball, or the times I didn’t get to support you on events you wanted me to go to with you. But it also reminds me of our favorite spot at the corner of a field of grass and stone under a tent on a bench. I could sit there for hours with you. We would talk about anything and everything. I’d trade anything just to feel the peace I felt when you were here.
I miss you when I see photographs of the things we love. It reminds me of all the memories we’ve had. You’ve always liked photography and taking pictures of places and things that fascinate you. You’ve always loved staying behind the lens and being behind the scenes. I remember the times you’d tell me to just act natural while you’d snap shots of me walking along the sidewalk or sipping a cup of coffee. You told me that the best part of taking pictures is seeing me through the lens because there’s nothing better than taking pictures of the people you love. The way your eyes would light up and the way your mouth would tilt upwards is a look I’ll never forget.
I miss you when I read books that remind me of the times we had together and the times I wish we had together. Sometimes I wonder what it’d be like if we weren’t so far apart. I would put ourselves in the shoes of the characters in the book and wonder what it would feel like to encounter such an experience with you here. But that’s as good as it gets. I can only imagine what it would look like and feel like because I know it would be a lifetime before I’d finally get to experience all those things with you. Fantasizing about us is not what I prefer doing while you’re away. It hurts, but it also helps me cope. It reminds me of the past and it gives me an idea of our future. I would wait forever for us to finally have our little adventure that would be as good as the books, and hopefully even better.
I miss you when I see other couples that are lucky enough to see each other every day. I envy their relationship, but at the same time I don’t. I don’t want what they have. I want what we have. But what I wish we had that other couples do have is time together. I’m not talking about spending time talking on the phone or video chatting. I’m talking about being face-to-face. I want to be able to look into your eyes while we’re talking. I want to be able to hold your hand while strolling through the mall. I want to be able to kiss your cheek when you say something funny or sweet. When I see other couples do things that we can’t, it breaks my heart. But what keeps me going is knowing that we will be able to do those things again one day. We’ve done them before you left, and now we just have to wait until you come back.
Missing you is the hardest part of my day. But it’s also the best part because remembering you and thinking about you is what keeps me moving forward. Knowing that our relationship is so strong that it can endure this distance is what keeps me going. Even if we’re miles apart, as long as our relationship is built on trust, support, honesty, and understanding, we can make it through anything. It will take some time and effort before I see you again. It won’t be easy, but I know everything will be worth it.