Thought Catalog

This Is How Your First Love Can Be The Product Of A Beautiful Friendship

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Twenty20 / priseskpastovesi
Twenty20 / priseskpastovesi

My favorite part about him is all the memories he comes along with. The feelings of young love, what seemed indestructible at the time, ended up being just that. He was every kind of perfect, but he was also every kind of wrong — for me. He reminds me of what I’ve survived and how much stronger I’ve become.

They say you never forget your first love and in some way or another, it’s true.

Sometimes people live the rest of their lives with regret of losing that one that got away. Others endlessly search for the one that can make them feel the same way — young, free, ready to take on the world.

Then there are the ones that lose that deep, passionate, fleeting love; and find a newfound friendship in that same person. It may take years or even decades to reach the coveted milestone, but when you get there, it’s a new level of comfort some may have never thought possible.

Best friends know you inside and out. They accept you for who you are. They’re there for you through good times and worse. They love you fully and entirely when you can’t even love yourself.

Regaining friendship with a former flame opens doors to a new kind of intimacy; one incomparable to your high school BFF or college roommate. It’s easy for some feelings to resurface but under the right circumstances, a beautiful friendship has the great potential to evolve.

They know you better than you know yourself.

First loves often occur in our peak years of adolescence when we’re starting to figure out life in what we want, what we need, and where we’re going. Plenty of mistakes are made and hurtful words are said, and sometimes these turn into damage that can no longer be fixed.

It takes a great amount of maturity and especially time for a former couple to overlook past baggage. But when you later find friendship in your past love, you find that some things never change.

You both have grown up a bit, experienced new things and loved new people — but when you’re reunited, it’s like some things have never changed. They know you better than you know yourself. They understand your side of the story and they feel for you when you’re hurt.

When you’re crying over your most recent ex, they hug you tight until there are no more tears left to cry. They know how much you’re hurting because one day, many moons ago, they were the ones that caused you this similar pain.

They remind you that you’re going to get through this hard time, because they know. They’ve watched you move on before. They give you advice and support you didn’t ask for but appreciate because it’s coming from them — and you haven’t experienced this kind of comfort in a while.

You know they’re always going to stay.

The same way they know you better than you know yourself — you don’t need to stress to impress.

You can talk to them about anything because at this point, there’s nothing else that will make them run away. Some way or another in the past, they already ran away, or you did. The damage was done so long ago, now is the time to freefall into the relationship you’ve always wanted.

You’re no longer trying to woo them back into your romantic life and you’re no longer trying to make them stay. This time they’re staying because they want to, no complicated strings attached.

No jealousy, no lies, no doubts. Just someone you know you can always talk to. Not someone who’s going to wake up one morning and decide to leave forever.

Your past mistakes make for memorable lessons.

Maybe one night you meet for a drink and after a few pints and laughs, you begin to discuss what went wrong in your past relationship. Without expectation to rekindle the flame, this conversation with your ex makes you both realize your wants and needs.

Your mistakes in young love make for memorable lessons in your next adult relationship. You remember the hardships, what you can no longer tolerate, and what you need from a partner. You learn more about yourself from a different point of view — the one that once loved you and broke you.

You can ask them questions you thought you’d never be able to again. Why’d they do it? How did it make them feel? Would they go back and change it if they could?

They help you open your eyes to the inevitable hurt we’re all prone to in any love. They also help you realize what you don’t and do deserve.

It’s not always easy to reach this point in any relationship. For some it’s rare and others it’s not. But when you do find this connection with someone you thought you’d never see again let alone share a table with again, it can instill hope in you, them, and relationships in general.

Sometimes there isn’t an ending, but a beautiful, long-awaited sequel. TC mark

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    • https://lifeisabeaut.wordpress.com/2016/01/04/this-is-how-your-first-love-can-be-the-product-of-a-beautiful-friendship/ This Is How Your First Love Can Be The Product Of A Beautiful Friendship « lifeisabeaut

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