What everyone thinks about the average white girl:
1. If you see a white girl crying hurry up and get her an iced latte from Starbucks because it is the only thing that will stop those tears from flowing.
2.Blondes are just floating around on their cloud of obliviousness. They are also the happiest girls on earth, because obviously they have no idea that brunettes are smarter than them.
3. They only own north faces, leggings, and Uggs. They have these items in heavy supply and this is the uniform they wear everyday.
4. Redheads are all gingers and they have no souls.
5. White girls only get through College because 1. Daddy paid for it and 2. Daddy promised a car for her graduation present.
6. Refusing to leave the house without a scarf, hat or accessory that matches her preferred outfit.
7. She has 7 pairs of the same yoga pants, but she doesn’t do yoga.
8. The only way she will eat sushi is if she takes a picture of it first and posts it on instagram.
9. Her Facebook statuses are either mean girls quotes or Taylor Swift lyrics.
10. She makes a weekly shopping trip to Victoria Secret.
The real white girl:
1. Although a latte would make me happy I’m sure the reason I’m crying is because I spilled my first non-fat, extra whip iced java chip frappachino.
2. Blondes have problems too, math equations are hard. Unless it has to do with sale percentages that I have down.
3. Real white girls have plenty of pairs of dress pants and blazers but those will remain in the closet for years to come.
4. Not every redhead is a ginger. But trust me, my best friend is a ginger and they really have no souls.
5. Does anyone not realize that daddy isn’t there to take the tests or hand in the homework? College was hard and that car was totally worth it!
6. Why is it that after I add a scarf and hat to my outfit I am then confused as a “snow bunny” on the street. Excuse me shouting man, Can’t you see that I am obviously not a small furry animal hopping along the sidewalk?
7. Actually I need these 7 pairs of yoga pants because I do take yoga, once a week. I just hate doing my own laundry.
8. Sushi obviously only tastes good if you prove to all of your friends that you are out to dinner at that very moment to eat the pictured sushi.
9. I’m sorry that Mean Girls and Taylor swift are more honest than anyone else I know, that is why I must quote them.
10. If anyone has ever bought anything from Victoria Secret they will understand that these items are so comfortable that you must buy the item in every color. Everyone who has ever shopped there knows that…duh.
It’s time that I finally put all of these crazy stereotypes to rest. If you need me I will be at the mall buying a new pair of Uggs because one of my pairs got wet.