Expert Gary Chapman has pinpointed the five main ways we love, which impact how we behave and who we are overall.
1. Physical Touch
Your presence is so warm and inviting that your significant other feels automatically safer and happier the second you walk through the door. You are the very definition of someone who loves loudly. You never shy away from physical contact, embracing your partner enthusiastically whenever possible, transforming even the simplest moments into meaningful interactions by grazing their skin, squeezing their hand tight, or hugging them just right. Physical touch comes so naturally that you manage to draw out even the shyest person’s inner cuddler. The people you love fall harder and harder for you as time goes on because you’re unafraid to demonstrate your affection and this makes them feel comforted, cared for, and, most importantly, wanted.
2. Quality Time
You’re literally always down to hang out, and when you’re there you’re really there—you give your significant other your full attention, making eye contact and asking thoughtful questions that inevitably bring you closer. You spend a lot of time listening because you genuinely care, but you don’t have to be talking to revel in the pleasure of being with your lover. You’re happy to sit there in silence, quietly soaking them in. You treat alone time as a couple as the precious commodity that it is, always coordinating schedules to ensure that you get the one-on-one time you need to grow stronger as a unit. When you head out, you encourage your partner to ditch their cell phone so you can spend a few hours enjoying each other on a deep level, totally uninterrupted.
3. Words of Affirmation
When you flatter, it’s with heart. You’re the master of compliments that resonate because you lace every remark with authenticity and meaning. Your words are rarely empty and they’re certainly not spoken with some opportunistic goal or secret objective in mind. The kind statements you make soften your partner immediately and you’re not at all stingy with them. Unafraid to sound corny, you’re also given to grand, loving proclamations, regularly demonstrating that you care by reassuring your significant other just how strongly you feel. You also understand the importance of whispering sweet nothings into your partner’s ear as they fall asleep, just as they rise, or right before they walk out the door, always doing your best to sprinkle your relationship with positive verbal fairy dust.
4. Acts of Service
You’re the girlfriend who makes her partner’s life dramatically better by paying heed to all the small but important ways you can ease their daily burden. You’re on an ongoing mission to help the person you love in whatever way possible, whether that means waking up five minutes earlier than usual to tidy the house, ordering their favorite takeout on the night they’re working late, or picking up a bar of soap when you know they’re on the verge of running out. You seize every opportunity to do something thoughtful for your significant other and the overall impact of all your tiny kindnesses is that your partner’s quality of life skyrockets thanks to you.
5. Receiving Gifts
You somehow stretch the magic of the holidays year round. You understand that a present doesn’t have to be expensive—if anything, the best gifts don’t cost a penny—to lift the spirits of the recipient. It’s the thought behind the gesture that counts, and you’re always thinking about the little ways you can surprise your partner and boost their mood on any given day. You’re constantly grabbing mementos from the places you visit with the intent of transforming them into gifts. You might scribble a love note inside a pack of matches from the restaurant you last dined at and stick it inside your partner’s pocket for them to discover. Or you’ll draft a hilarious message in Sharpie on one of their old t-shirts, bringing new life to a stained garment. Some of the gifts you give require more effort than others, some are silly and others more serious, but all are designed to demonstrate your undying devotion. You know how to make any day—not just special occasions—truly memorable.