50 Helpful Questions For Couples That Want Love That Lasts (Not Just Romance)


1. Does my partner’s happiness make me truly happy, to the extent that their happiness seems rooted in my own experience of the world?

2. Do we experience the pain of each other’s setbacks as intensely as the joy of each other’s achievements?

3. Are we comfortable being totally vulnerable, even when it means demonstrating weakness or showcasing our faults?

4. Are we good at fighting?

5. Are we equally committed to finding resolutions and reestablishing the peace as an argument subsides?

6. Do we apologize to each other regularly—not just with words, but with heart?

7. Do we tend to follow through with ‘I’m sorry’ by actually changing our behavior?

8. Can we find satisfaction together in the routine, seemingly mundane aspects of life?

9. Do we tend to shove things under the proverbial rug, or work through our problems with the intent of growing stronger as a couple?

10. Can we laugh together about things that once made us feel tense, letting mishaps become fodder for bonding rather than scars we continue to pick at?

11. Do we recognize each other for who we are, flaws and alls, and love each other regardless?

12. Do we genuinely miss each other when we’re apart?

13. Do we inspire each other to test our personal boundaries?

14. Are we able to share moments of silence without feeling at all awkward?

15. Are our sex drives aligned?

16. Do we both experience pleasure purely from pleasuring each other in bed?

17. Do we ache to make each other happier day to day, understanding that there will times we fail spectacularly at this mission?

18. Are we willing to make sacrifices for each other, big and small, without seeking recognition for our efforts?

19. Do we respect each other’s views and values—when they diverge as well as when they align?

20. Can we agree to disagree when necessary?

21. Can we tolerate each other’s most annoying family members?

22. Do we like most of each other’s friends?

23. Do we truly respect each other inside and out, even if we don’t like every single layer of each other’s character?

24. Can we spend time apart without freaking out?

25. Do we proactively encourage each other to address our individual needs?

26. Are we attuned to each other’s moods as if we had a sixth sense for the other’s inner life, even if we misread each other occasionally?

27. Do we check in with each other just to make sure we’re doing okay?

28. Do we protect and defend each other instinctively?

29. Is it our automatic inclination to take each other’s side when faced with an outside threat?

30. Are we able to raise issues with grace and the mindset that we’ll work through them together?

31. Do we strive to be our best selves, but embrace each other’s worst selves too?

32. Do we do our best to understand each other, even when it seems impossible?

33. Are we willing to work hard at our relationship, understanding that lasting coupledom is an ongoing labor of love?

34. Are we strong enough to withstand the heartache all couple sometimes cause each other?

35. Do we fall into the trap of comparing our relationship to others’ and/or envying other couples?

36. Do we value each other’s input on almost all matters?

37. Are we best friends?

38. Do we love each other just as much when things are tough as when they’re effortlessly enjoyable?

39. Do we seem better equipped to handle adversity as a couple than we would be as individuals?

40. Do we make each other laugh whenever possible?

41. Can we tease each other gently without getting vicious?

42. Do we feel compelled to reveal our deepest secrets, best memories, and biggest fears when we’re alone together?

43. Does the idea that one of us might get sick or die terrify the other?

44. Do we cringe at the very idea of life without each other?

45. Can we both honestly say that we’re happier together than we would be apart?

46. Do we trust each other inherently or do we too often succumb to the itch of suspicion?

47. Can we entertain a little jealousy without completely freaking out?

48. Do we see each other’s outward and inward beauty?

49. Do we appreciate each other as multi-dimensional people, reserving as much loving acceptance for each other’s flaws as we do for the positive stuff?

50. Does the thought of growing old seem less intimidating somehow, knowing that we’ll have each other’s wrinkly hands to hold tight? Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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Mélanie Berliet

I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. Click here to learn more!

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