13 Men Reveal How They ‘Play’ When Their Significant Other Is Away

Drew Wison
Drew Wison

1. “I masturbate to nude photos of my ex girlfriends. They’re stored on a hard drive I keep in a lock box in the back of the closet. It feels JUST sinful enough. It’s not like I’m cheating, but I know it isn’t exactly right.”

— Jacob, 28


2. “As long as I don’t catch anything or knock anyone up, I consider myself in the clear. So I double bag it and I draw the line somewhere between risky and too risky, know what I mean?”

— Shane, 32


3. “My girlfriend’s pretty liberal, so she gives me a permission slip to be a bit of a bad boy when she takes off for a few days. I assume she gives herself a permission slip to fuck around a little too, but we don’t talk about our sexual experiences with other people outright. Couples that say too much end up hating each other.”

— Malcolm, 31


4. “Listen, if she’s going to take a girls’ trip every six months, I’m going to do whatever the hell I want when she’s gone. I invite my buddies over and we drink way too much and then we head out to the strip club. I’m a tits and ass kinda guy and I’m not gonna lie—I love a little change in pace from the ones I see every day.”

— Willie, 27


5. “A few months ago I got into these cam girl sites and they’re amazing. You can actually sit there and talk to these hot girls in real time, but it’s not like you’re being at all unfaithful because you can’t touch them. You just pay an absurd amount of money to get them to interact with you, and to do what you say for a while. It’s like directing your own little porno.”

— Parker, 29


6. “In college my wife was a flat-out lesbian, so we have this rule whenever either of us is traveling on business: We’re both allowed to sleep with other women. Works out beautifully.”

— Davis, 30


7. “I actually get a little separation anxiety when I’m apart from my wife. We spend so much time together, and we’re really still obsessed with each other five years into marriage, which is pretty rare. When she leaves town for even one night, I miss her a lot. But we almost always manage to have Skype sex.”

— Frederick, 34


8. “I work my ass off, okay. So when the ball-and-chain’s out of town, I don’t feel guilty about letting loose. I have a buddy my girlfriend says is a total derelict (she’s right) and I always call him up when she’s away. We like to get drunk and do stupid shit because that’s what boys do. It’s a bonding thing. I’m not crossing any lines that’ll land me in hell.”

— Kyle, 27


9. “My girlfriend means well, but she’s kind of a nag. I don’t blame her for it, because I can be a lazy douchebag. But when she’s away, I definitely take advantage of life without a constant reminder that it’s time to make the bed or take out the trash or whatever. I’m a fucking slob until the last minute possible, and then I hire a cleaning lady (something I shouldn’t be wasting money on) to come in and tidy up right before she gets back.”

— Larry, 28


10. “There’s a topless bar I go to every single night my wife’s out of town for a few drinks. I don’t get lap dances because it’s too much money and she’d notice if I withdrew more cash than usual. But I’m really friendly with a few of the girls there. It’s my safe place in a way.”

— Kurt, 36


11. “Who wouldn’t exploit their freedom while they have it? I’m all in favor of getting shit out of your system when you can. I’m a man who needs to get his party on every once in a while and I find it’s best to do that when my girls’ not around. She doesn’t really like nightlife anyway. It’s not like I’m out there looking to get laid. HJ in the bathroom? I’ll take it. But I don’t hunt for random hook-ups.”

— Robert, 29


12. “I’ve got this guy who used to deal me coke back in the mid 90s before I got together with my girlfriend, who’s totally against drugs. He’s still around, and I call him up for a little ‘boog suge’—just a gram or two, you know—whenever my girlfriend’s away.”

— Hank, 40


13. “I’m a really introverted guy, so I need a weekend apart from everyone, including my partner, once in awhile. I don’t go nuts or anything. I just sit home and play video games and eat pizza and drink Coke. Being able to do what I want without having to talk to anyone else for a bit is a dream come true for me.”

— J.T., 24 TC mark

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