1. Have sex with them as often as possible.
It sounds simple, but it’s easy to forget just how important it is to have a lot of sex. People who are getting laid regularly are far more likely to remain faithful because they’re not walking around feeling sexually starved. Plus, when your genitals touch, some cool scientific hormonal shit happens that bonds you to your partner. That’s why it’s hard not to feel the least bit attached to another human after sleeping with them, even if it’s a no-strings thing. Our lady and man parts are designed to connect us to each other, both literally and emotionally, which is a good thing if you don’t want your partner to seek out an alternate penis or vagina. Trust your body’s biological powers to bind you to your lover by tapping that ass whenever you can.
2. Have sex with them when you don’t even want to.
If you sit there waiting until you’re both turned on at the exact same time to have sex, you’ll rarely end up doing it. So sack up and get busy even if you’re overtired or overwhelmed or feeling totally unsexy. An orgasm is pretty much always worth the effort. And by rallying and taking one for the team, you’ll be doing something for the greater good of your relationship.
3. Always tell them when you’re horny.
It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing. A horny alert won’t go unappreciated, whether you whisper it in your lover’s ear mid shopping excursion, or at the family dinner table. If you’re feeling the slightest bit turned on, there’s no reason not to share that information. Everyone needs a reminder that they’re dating a sexual being, and that the upside to being in a serious relationship is getting to bed that sexual being frequently.
4. Sext them regularly.
Sexting isn’t just for teens and people exploring their chemistry during the early, lustful stages of dating. It’s the glue that keeps long-term couples happy, too. Sending your significant other a saucy message reading “wish we could be fucking, bunny,” or “I’m picturing you naked as I type this” is a powerful way to arouse them when you’re apart (especially if you include a suggestive photo). Every shared sexual moment counts, even if it’s impossible to act on your desires right that second. Because the more sexual energy you exchange, both in person and from a distance, the less likely either of you is to stray.
5. Create your own couple’s fantasy.
We all have our individual fantasies, but when it comes to creativity, two libidos are better than one. So trade naughty ideas and start outlining a doubly juicy narrative that you can both replay in your dirty imaginations whenever you please. When you collaborate with your partner in crafting a sensual story starring yourselves, you hook each other up with an arsenal of titillating thoughts designed to make you thirst for each other, not others.
6. Take your partner’s sexual temperature.
Not even the most open, articulate people will always notify you when they want sex, so if you want to keep your partner from wandering in the name of sating their unmet sexual needs, you absolutely have to be mindful of their subtle sexual cues. Through spending time together, hopefully you’ve already catalogued a few of their horny-AF tells. Maybe they bite their lip or fiddle with their hair or tap their foot incessantly when they start to feel turned on. Pay attention to these signals, and act as necessary.
7. Ask them about their masturbation routine.
There’s no shame in touching yourself, even if you’re in a long-term, sexually fulfilling relationship. Ask your partner about their specific self-pleasuring habits—how and when they masturbate, and what typically leads them to do it. The more you discuss such things, the more likely it is that your significant other will think of you instead of the hot barista the next time they jerk off or tickle the bean. Any time you can integrate yourself into your partner’s solo sex life, it’s a point towards preserving exclusivity.
8. Discuss your own masturbation routine.
Maybe you like to masturbate on the living room couch as they sleep in, or you sneak into the bathroom at work after lunch to pleasure yourself. Masturbating is such a personal behavior, so revealing the intimate details of your solo sexcapades will make your lover feel closer to you. It will also probably make them want to jump you immediately, which is never a bad thing.
9. Sexualize unsexy situations.
Maybe you’re both insanely busy and you can’t find time for as much sex as you’d like, or you’re both sick with the flu in bed and have zero energy leftover from barfing your brains out to bump uglies. A simple reference can turn an otherwise asexual experience into a hilarious, memorably sexualized occasion. So be juvenile and make a dirty joke when it seems totally random, or mouth that popsicle like you’re blowing it just for kicks. If you want your partner to refrain from chasing outside action, it’s a good idea to let them associate you with sexy stuff in as many different settings and scenarios as possible. If you’re in a loving relationship, you won’t even feel objectified as a result.
10. Make sure they know you want their body.
Over the years, people fluctuate in weight and appearance. That’s part of the bargain when you sign up for long-term love. But no matter how fit or unhealthy your significant other is at any given time, they should feel like a sexy beast in your eyes. It’s your job to remind them that you think they’re hot even when they’re feeling less than appetizing. Otherwise, they’ll seek reassurance elsewhere. So find a way to compliment them honestly and often.