1. Shelby, 27

After my boyfriend’s grandma passed away, he was even less into sex than usual. Out of sheer desperation, I came up with a new way to initiate sex around then that almost always works. I just start touching myself. As long as I’m in his peripheral vision, he eventually joins the party.

2. Anita, 30

Sex is the main (and only) cause of disagreements in my relationship with my fiancé. I work over 50 hours a week, take anti-depressants and birth control, and I still come home with my loins on fire. I pray every night for a lower libido because I really want things to work out.

3. Sheryl, 25

I’m incredibly horny and unfortunately for me, I can’t get myself off easily. For a while, I tried compensating for my boyfriend’s lower sex drive with a bunch of dildos and vibrators, but there’s nothing like the real thing. The funny thing is, from my experience at least, reminding a guy that you need their dick is the best way to get them to jump your bones swiftly.

4. Tara, 38

If I find myself fighting with a boyfriend over our mismatched libidos, it’s time to part ways. I’m not interested in dating a guy who can’t keep up with me sexually. Won’t work. Never has.

5. Francesca, 29

There’s always a chance I’m going to hear “no,” but I refuse to be passive, or lie. I always make my desire known to my husband and if he’s not up for it, that’s fine. It’s not like he’s rejecting me. He’s rejecting sex. Just like I reject darts, and most bar games.

6. Blaire, 35

Instead of asking for sex, I try new things when I sense he’s not feeling all that into it. Once, I dressed up in a maid’s costume and started dusting the house randomly. That worked wonders, but I’m not always so successful.

7. Kelly, 34

I’m definitely more sexual than my husband and it bother me sometimes, except that I usually end up getting my way. Whenever I roll over in defeat, something seems to click inside him and he manages to get hard. Either the sight of me sleeping turns him on, or fear of disappointing me gets him going. Whatever the case, I’ll take it!

8. Rita, 31

Usually, I’ll start giving my boyfriend a blowjob even if he seems reluctant to fool around. I’m telling you, there’s nothing more powerful than a woman’s mouth on a man’s cock.

9. Claire, 24

After a ton of discussions that led nowhere, my husband and I finally tried making a sex schedule. It sounds weird (not to mention, totally unsexy) but it works for us because it gives him time to prepare and it gives me something to look forward to. I’ll take guaranteed sex any day, even if it lacks all spontaneity.

10. Tonya, 23

I love sex, but there are a lot of times when I’m up for some play and my boyfriend is tired (sometimes because we’ve done it twice already that day). I’m usually more than happy to wait because satisfaction isn’t about having sex as many times as possible—at least, that’s what I tell myself.

11. Sarah, 25

It took me a while to get here, emotionally, but you can’t let sexual refusal be a blow to your ego. He isn’t saying that you’re unattractive. He’s just saying, “Not now, thank you.” Which can always be interpreted as: Please come back and try again a few minutes from now.

12. Carrie, 24

My boyfriend’s lower libido doesn’t usually cause a problem. When he isn’t in the mood, I just masturbate. Even if he doesn’t get it up, he likes to watch me touch myself—and I like to watch him watch me.

13. Frannie, 23

I have to remind myself time and again that it’s not that I’m failing to turn him on, but that he isn’t in the mood to be turned on.

14. Brenda, 28

I’ve learned that when I put more effort into getting him in the mood before saying something like, “Let’s have sex, babe,” I’m more likely to get what I want. A sensual massage is a good trick. So is nice lingerie.

15. Sheila, 27

I’m probably three times hornier than my husband and it used to cause a lot of tension. But I’ve learned to get over it and appreciate making love with him more and more on the occasions that I get to. Quality over quantity!

16. Carla, 33

I’ve been dating this low libido dude for six months now, and in the beginning I always felt rejected when he turned me down. During some heart-to-heart talks, though, he explained what it’s like not to feel aroused—unfamiliar territory to someone like me, who’s constantly ready. His honesty was heartwarming so I’m sticking around—for now.

17. Pam, 30

I have a supercharged sex drive—I can easily have sex four to five times daily, if not more—so I know it’s unreasonable to expect my significant other to match me in those terms. Luckily, I’ve found someone who’s willing to help me get things going even if he’s not in the mood to participate fully.