You fell in love, and it was magical.
It was beautiful, lovely, exciting, and sexy, and all of the wonderful things that one thinks of when they think of falling in love.
It was that way until it wasn’t.
And then it hurt. It stung. It was as if you were ripping off a band-aid, over and over and over again.
You fell in love with the wrong person.
And the wrongness haunts your dreams, and your waking hours, and every moment in between. You replay what you did wrong, you overthink each and every tiny action, and play it on a loop in your brain until you become so exhausted that you just fall asleep.
Perhaps you say a tiny prayer that the sleep will be an endless amount of pitch blackness. You will have no dreams, you will have no memories that come floating back into your subconscious. You’ll just have peace.
Perhaps that will happen.
Perhaps it will not.
And then you’ll wake up in the morning, and wade through the hurt all over again. You’ll avoid the land mines that will remind you of what once was, and you’ll avoid opening your heart to anyone who comes across your path.
You tell yourself it’s the best way to do things – that you cannot fathom loving again.
You tell yourself it’s the smart way to do things – for if you fell in love with the wrong person once, what’s to say you won’t’ do it again?
So you hide, and hibernate, and avoid potential romantic situations at all costs.
And while I understand the impulse to protect your heart from future breaks – I really wish you’d stop doing that.
You are not the only person on the planet who has fallen hard for a love that didn’t last. You are not the only person who fell in love with someone who was just simply wrong for them. You are not the only person who has had a relationship that they think of as a mistake.
But here’s the deal – love, even the kind that breaks your heart, and crushes your soul, and leaves you yearning for a dreamless sleep, will teach you something.
If you pay attention, falling in love with the wrong person can teach you how to be a better communicator. It can teach you how to be a better partner, too. Falling in love with the wrong person can be a slap in the face that awakens you to what you really need in a relationship – it will show you what you need to thrive, what you need to feel safe, and honest, and committed, and happy.
Falling in love with the wrong person can teach you the lessons of your own heart, and when you learn those lessons, it can bring you closer to the love that is right for you.
And make no mistake about it – there is a love out there that is perfect for you.
But before you find it, you must forgive yourself for the mistake and the heartache that came from falling for a love that was wrong.
You must hold onto these words, and tell yourself, “I am capable of loving again.”