Friendship is a verb.
It’s like love, and hate, and marriage, and sisterhood.
It’s a verb.
It requires doing.
And the older you will get, the more doing it requires. Because jobs and marriages and relationships and babies and travel and health and all kinds of crazy things will get shoveled onto your dinner plate – and it’s easy to let your best friends get pushed to dessert.
But it’s so important to invite them to dinner.
Sometimes we think that those who are sunny, and bubbly, and bright all the time do not need us to check in on their spirit.
It’s easy to think that the sunny people have it all together and that there’s nothing brewing beneath the surface.
But that’s a trap and a trick of life – for everyone, everywhere, always needs the ones that they love to check in.
Social media can condition us to believe that everyone is leading these beautiful, wonderful, happy lives – but you can’t always believe the picture. Sometimes, you must go deeper. Sometimes, you must more closely.
Sometimes, everyone needs to be asked, “hey, are you ok?”
Maybe your friend just had a baby. Or maybe your friend just got married. Or maybe your friend is traveling the world, or they seem like they’re killing it at a fancy new job, or they just bought a home, or they just found the love of their life. Maybe one of their parents just died. Maybe it was someone else that they lost.
Maybe they just seem busy.
Maybe there’s no life-altering event that’s happening with them.
Maybe a Tuesday is just a Tuesday.
But you know what? You’ll never know what’s going on unless you ask. It’s impossible to know what’s going on in the heart and head of your friend unless you reach out.
So, when you’re thinking of your friend, pick up the phone and call them. Let them hear your voice on the other end of the phone. You don’t have to be calling to make plans – you can just call to say, hello. You can call just to check in and see how their life is going. There doesn’t have to be some monumental reason for your call, it can be as simple as, “hey, how are you? I was thinking of you and I wanted to know what’s going on in your life.”
If your life is not conducive to phone calls, you can text them. Albeit, it’s not the same thing, but if that’s the way in which you communicate, do it! Text them. Send them a funny GIF. Ask them, how are you doing? And focus on your phone long enough to hear the answer.
We all want to be seen, to be heard, and to be loved.
We all want to know that our friends are there and that they do care about us.
It doesn’t have to be a phone call every week. It doesn’t have to be a text message every day. But it is important to show up for the ones you call friends – however that looks for your friendship.
Let them know that you’re listening.
Let them know that you care.
And if they’re not doing ok – let them know that you want to help them through whatever it is that makes them feel that way.
Remind them that it’s ok if they’re not ok.