When love is balanced, there is no competition. You don’t feel guilty for attending girls night, or guys nights or going to a happy hour with coworkers. You don’t get upset when your beloved does the same thing. You are perfectly happy to spend time apart because you know that your love is present, even when you are physically not. You know that your beloved needs to cultivate friendships in their lives, and you understand that there’s nothing wrong with that. You know that this doesn’t mean that you’re not the most important person to them or that you must now compete harder for their attention. It just means that they need their friendships, too.
When love is balanced, you don’t keep score about who is giving and who is taking, for true love is about compromise. Compromise occurs each day that you are together, and it doesn’t feel like a punishment or that you’re lacking or that you’re somehow missing out on something else. It’s not like that. Compromise is the oil that greases the machine that is your relationship. The ebb and flow of your relationship is rooted in compromise. When love is balanced, compromise isn’t about letting go of something — it’s about gaining a relationship that is stronger, better, and more beautiful than you could have ever expected.
When love is balanced, you feel safe. You feel safe to speak your mind, you feel safe to speak your heart, you feel safe within the arms of your love, and you feel safe alone in this world because you know you have the most beautiful love. You do not hesitate to share when you are upset or excited or when you need something to shift. Your lack of hesitation is not an accident — it’s what happens when you build something that is balanced. It’s the structure that forms when your foundation is built with the bricks of honesty and communication.
When love is balanced, you know that you don’t have to choose between loving yourself and loving your beloved. It’s not an either-or situation. A balanced love doesn’t ask you to shove your own passions, accomplishments, and goals aside so that theirs can take center stage. A balanced love is confident in knowing that there is room in your relationship for both of you to thrive. You have created a space where you both can dream, do, and be what you’re called to, and you encourage that dreaming, doing, and being in one another.
When love is balanced, you feel at ease. This doesn’t mean things are always easy — lasting love and a balanced relationship require work. But when love is balanced, you feel at ease with your beloved. You feel at ease with being wholly and unapologetically yourself. You feel at ease with whatever hurdles life throws your way because you both have built a foundation that is free from competition and full of compromise, cultivation, safety, and encouragement. And when you have those things, love is always balanced.