It's Time To Let Him Go

I’m Slowly Learning To Let Everything Just Be

It’s hard to let go and let the chips fall where they may when you are a hardwired control freak who desperately craves order and holding onto tight reins. I crave holding the world in the palm of my hand and manipulating it to my will. Life never really works that way, though; no matter how hard you try, you can’t “play God.” So, I find myself slowly, yet deliberately, releasing my insatiable desire to rule over every moment and simply let things be.

With a laundry list of mental illnesses and constant emotional instability, I’ve got to let everything just be for my sanity.

Dwelling on the past makes the tears flow down my cheeks; worrying over the future ties my stomach up in knots. There’s enough pain within the present, so why drag in what we’ve left behind or what we can’t yet see? By throwing myself into washing dishes or folding laundry, I find these tiny moments of silence in my head. I close my eyes and relish in the peace that comes at that moment when you’ve just parked the car or exited the bus. It’s easy to allow your mind to be cluttered with noise, but I’m finding ways to turn it off if even momentarily.

Embrace the moments as they unfold but don’t miss what’s coming next. Let the emotions wash over you but allow them to fade away. Push away nothing, cling to nothing… let it come, let it go.

With a bachelor’s degree I’m not even using and endless hopes and dreams, I’m simply learning to let everything just be.

I can’t predict the future or even know what tomorrow brings. Maybe there will be grad school and a big promotion, or perhaps there will be dead-end jobs and homelessness. I don’t possess a crystal ball or visions in my sleep. As I rise each morning, inhaling oxygen and the sunrise, I can only put one foot in front of the other and hear the clock ticking inside of my ear. Whatever the day has in store for me, I’ll embrace it entirely.

Walk with purpose but be mindful of messages veiled in your surroundings. Make plans but allow yourself the freedom to freefall when you need it. Breathe in, breathe out… let it be, let it be.

With constant changes that are beyond my control and a strong desire for inner peace, it’s vital to my existence to just let everything be.

I can’t please all the people just like I can’t forecast the weather. Everyone has their own baggage to lug around, including me, but I can’t possibly carry the load for everyone. I have to simply let heated arguments run their course or allow my best friends to make mistakes and fall; I can be there to pick back up the pieces with everyone after the smoke rises and the wreckage is in plain sight. Scrapes and bruises stop being painful the less we focus our attention on them, so I’ll take everything in stride, remembering there’s always sunshine after the rain falls.

Embrace the serenity to accept all that you cannot change and the courage to do the thing you feel you cannot do. Tell people you love them and make room to love yourself. Live, laugh, and love… stay present, don’t miss a thing.

It’s a challenging and painful process to let go of that burning desire to control the universe and manipulate favorable outcomes for ourselves. The reward that we reap is more than worth the effort, though. I’m slowly learning to embrace the moments, to throw caution to the wind, to just let the chips fall where they may for me. And as I learn to let everything be, I find that inner strength to conquer the storms and better equipped to climb the most difficult of mountains in my journey. It’s a lot of crazy and almost a little bit zen, but once you begin the process everything sort of just… clicks. TC mark

Writer. Mental Health/Disability Advocate. Mom. Lover of All.

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