1. The idea we’re running out of time
Society has created a culture where we believe we are constantly running out of time to find a partner. With the rise of pandemic breakups, becoming single is starting to become normalized because the truth is that we never had to rush to find a partner in the first place. The most important partnership to build is the one with yourself, and from there, you can attract the right person that will add to your life. There is no timeline to finding love.
2. The rush to get married
Marriage should not be viewed as the goal of a relationship but as a celebration of creating a partnership. It’s a celebration of your love and a promise to continue the work of growing together through acceptance, surrendering, and allowing. The process of building a partnership is a lifelong process that continues after marriage. There is no need to rush into marriage, because building a partnership is a marathon, not a race.
It’s not difficult to send a clear text to someone and be honest about your disinterest in them. Rejecting someone is more daunting than being rejected because of the uncertainty of the other person’s response. However, being clear on how you feel is kinder than leading someone by leaving them on read. Their response to you rejecting them is not your responsibility. It will give them the freedom and clarity to move on and continue their dating journey.
4. Finding someone to “complete” you
No one can complete you when you’ve always been whole just as you are. You are enough, worthy, and beautiful with or without a partner around your arm. Dating is about seeking someone who can complement your life and enhance it, but not be the reason for your happiness. You are the only person responsible for your happiness, and a partner only adds to it, not fulfills it.
5. The idea you can’t date multiple people
You can date as many people as you’d like until you meet someone who you want to see exclusively. The purpose of dating is to meet people who teach you about what you like, your needs, and what you look for and don’t want in a partner. It’s okay to learn about what works for you by the process of dating multiple people. This is what dating is.
6. Not being clear about what kind of relationship you want
If you want a relationship, make it clear. If you want something casual, make it clear. If you want a long-term relationship, make it clear. Be honest and unapologetic about the type of relationship you want and communicate it. This prevents the messy world of almost relationships. Be clear about the intentions of what you want through dating and people will be more respectful of honoring that.
7. Shaming people who are “picky”
It’s okay to be picky about what you want in a partner in terms of values, morals, and compatibility. Being selective is creating standards for yourself. It’s a way of creating boundaries with yourself so you don’t overlook red flags.
8. Shaming dating apps
The most convenient way to meet someone is through a dating app. We often shame others or judge ourselves for using a dating app to meet someone, but that’s why these were created. To encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and be curious about what potential partners are out there.
9. The belief that men are emotionally unavailable and women are needy
This belief creates a confirmation bias that will subconsciously manifest into our realities. Our minds are powerful, and what we believe we will act out in our reality to make it come true. If you think men are emotionally unavailable or women are needy, you will find ways to make this narrative true. This belief also closes your heart up to meeting someone that can prove you otherwise.
10. You have to be fully healed to start dating
The healing journey is never-ending, and self-love is a continuous practice. You do not have to be fully “fixed” to be worthy of love because we are constantly on a journey of growth and transformation. Secure and healthy relationships can heal the parts of ourselves we once labeled as broken. The work is never over, and we can expand on our healing journey by finding a partnership that supports us.