Just when I’ve given up on love, you came along and pulled me back.
Falling in love seemed all too foreign for me. I had been in a relationship for way too long, and it was one that did not have a very ideal ending.
I cannot remember how it felt to be swept off your feet. I forgot the sensation of having butterflies in your stomach, and how it made you all giddy. I no longer recall how your lips will instantly form into an upward curve just by the thought of someone.
I’m a stranger to these emotions. These are the things that I have not felt in long while… and yet, these are the same things that you’re bringing back in my life.
Truth be told, it scared me… did you know that? You somehow scared me. Or maybe, I feared myself. I felt like I’m getting into a quicksand. It felt as if you were someone who would consume my entirety and I might not make it out alive. I was so afraid of having my heart damaged further, and why would I not be? My last break up nearly drove me crazy. I carry all the doubts one ruined soul would have. So I resisted. I avoided you as much as I can because I couldn’t trust anyone with my heart… I couldn’t even trust myself with my heart.
But with each rejection, you did not falter. You did not give up. I never had anyone as persistent as you had been with me. You tried your best to reach out despite my attempts of dismissing your affection. You said you’d wait until I’m ready to believe in love again… and honestly, I couldn’t be more thankful that you did. I’m glad you did.
Falling in love with you did not happen swiftly. If anything, it was terrifying. My heart felt too heavy at the thought of someone entering my life again. Someone who wanted to take a residency in my heart, but with no assurance of staying. I was overwhelmed with the emotions stirring inside me, but the uncertainty made me crave for you. You made me want to throw my hesitance and be free-spirited in loving you. You have been my state of euphoria after my long days of desolation. You made me feel that this was what I needed all this time… to fall in love.
I remember my mom telling me a couple of times to not look for someone who will make me feel complete. She said I’m supposed to complete myself on my own. The funny thing is, you defied that. It’s as if you were a puzzle piece that fits perfectly in my life. You filled that huge void that was always there, suddenly everything made sense. Everything with you felt right.
So I tore down my walls for you. I crossed the line and took the risk. And now, I am at my happiest because of you.
Thank you for making me see things in a different light. You showed me a possibility that I wouldn’t even consider, nor think about months ago. You made me picture myself with you for the rest of this lifetime. You brought out an optimist out of a cynic. Thank you for loving me all those times when I couldn’t even love myself. Thank you for being a living proof that life is a bounty of goodness.
I know there would be times that being with me will be a bit difficult. I’m going to be completely honest with you, I still have an irresolute heart. All I ask from you is patience. Please be patient while I slowly peel myself off with every doubt I have. Please understand that I am still learning the ropes of being someone’s significant other again, of having faith in love again. I want to be better for you. I have so many things I wanted to look forward to with you by my side. I want us to be each other’s forever, no matter how overrated forever may be.
I hope and pray that you will be the man who’ll wait for me at the altar as I walk down the aisle.
I hope and pray that your hand will be the hand that I will hold through life’s ups and downs.
I hope and pray that you are exactly what I want you to be… my answered prayer.