In 2018, I’m Letting Go Of What Is Not Meant For Me

girl surrounded by lights, peaceful, letting go of what's not meant for me, new year
Bryan Apen

In this new year, I’m letting go of all that I can’t control. I’m closing my eyes and praying over what is not mine to understand or make sense of. I’m trusting God to take my feet and guide me. I’m exhaling anxiety and fear and allowing whatever comes to come. I’m releasing my tight grip on everything I’ve known and embracing all that lies ahead, new and untouched.

In this new year, I’m letting go of fear. I’m going to try my hardest to stop overthinking, to stop allowing my mind to wander to all the things that scare me or that I can’t fix. I’m going to smile, even when I’m faced with doubt. I’m going to trust, even when I don’t have the answers. And most importantly, I’m going to surround myself with what feels good, rather than what is eating a hole in my chest.

In this new year, I’m letting go of doubt. I’m going to stop speaking harmful words to myself, stop twisting my mind in circles, stop telling myself that I’m not enough, or unworthy, or less. Instead of believing lies or focusing on what I want to change about myself, I will listen to the wild beating of my heart. I will stand bravely. I will push back. I will be proud of my skin and soul.

In this new year, I’m letting go of old relationships. Ones where I no longer find myself a major character. Ones that hold me back, rather than build me. Ones that are no longer mine to keep. I will give myself a chance to start again, give the people of my past freedom to move on without any strings attached. I will accept that love is meant to be felt, but not always forever. And I will no longer carry pain or bitterness from the old into the new.

In this new year, I’m letting go of brokenness. I’m choosing to hit the ‘restart’ button, to give myself the energy and space to heal in whatever fashion and by whatever means necessary. I’m going to make amends with people I’ve hurt and attempt to forgive, when it’s healthy, those who have hurt me. I’m not going to walk around with my pain on my chest like a label. I’m going to start over, start fresh.

In this new year, I’m letting go of negativity. Because negativity is not meant to be the central focus on my life. Because there will always be something wrong, but infinitely more reasons to smile. Instead of letting people’s anger or mistreatment be what I choose to see, I will look for inspiration and light elsewhere. And I will spend time building myself and others, rather than be continually broken down.

In this new year, I’m letting go of defeat. I’m acknowledging that I can’t be, won’t be perfect and this is okay. I’m accepting all the ways that I’ve failed and will attempt to find new goals and dreams to believe in, even if they are ones I didn’t expect. Instead of allowing my defeat to define me, I’m going to write my own self-definition story. And I’m going to put the past in the past.

In this new year, I’m letting go of failed plans. I’m going to understand that some things don’t go the way I want them to, but that doesn’t mean I’m any less. Instead of looking back, I will look forward. I will create new ideas and new paths to walk. I will remind myself that my best laid plans might fall to ruin, and that’s okay. God has a bigger and better one.

In this new year, I’m letting go of what is not meant for me. I’m letting go of people, of things, of feelings, of thoughts that aren’t mine to keep. That aren’t bringing me hope. That aren’t pushing me to be a better person or inspiring me to stand after I’ve fallen down. I’m releasing my hold on love that isn’t reciprocated, or respect that isn’t given. I’m taking steps back from what I cannot change or fix, and understanding that will find my place, my hands to hold, my ‘home’ in time.

In this new year, I’m letting love, and hope, and new beginnings in. TC mark

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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