I want you. And I don’t care if that’s messy. I don’t care if one day we’re falling headfirst into one another and the next day we’re fighting. I don’t care if one minute we’re perfect, and the next we’re reminded of our humanness. I don’t care if we argue, or believe different things about the world. I don’t care if we don’t always see eye-to-eye or aren’t always making one another blissfully happy.
I don’t care if there are a million and one reasons why our lives might be easier if we weren’t together; I’d take the most complicated, messy life with you over the one without.
I’ll take the days we cry, the days we slam our bedroom doors. I’ll take the mornings when the coffee pot isn’t running, or you take too long in the shower, or the eggs are overcooked. I’ll take the tear-stained pillows, the apologies written on napkins and passed on the table between us. I’ll take the nights we both stay up staring at the ceiling, silence speaking so damn loud.
I’ll take all the ways we won’t be perfect, all the ways we will fail and fall and question forever—because life and love were never promised to be easy. And there’s no other way I’d want to battle this world than with you by my side.
I’d rather have a complicated life with you than an easy one without. I’d rather fight, and bicker, and argue, than walk around holding hands with someone who isn’t really passionate about me, about us. I’d rather learn to look at life differently, learn to compromise, learn to let things go than link arms with someone who is so stoic, so easy, so removed when it comes to building our future.
I’d rather be with someone who makes me think, who pushes me to be better, who drives me crazy than someone who just ho-hums through this life with me.
I’d rather have all the mess that comes with really giving your heart to someone than having a ‘perfect’ love, ‘perfect’ partner, ‘perfect’ relationship. Because that perfection will inevitably fail and cease to exist. Because that perfection doesn’t even exist in the first place. Because life isn’t always going to be roses and rainbows; it’s going to be conflict and failure and pain and obstacles.
And if I’m going to spend the rest of my life with someone, I want to be with someone who will take on the storms of this life with me, who will go to war with me, who will challenge me, and who will never stop fighting for me. Because I will promise the same.
So no, I don’t want perfect. I don’t want easy. I don’t want a life, a love that looks beautiful but doesn’t make me feel. I don’t want a person who does and says all the right things, who puts me as the center of his universe, who never stands up to me when I’m wrong or question me with his own perspectives.
I’d rather have a life that’s difficult, a love that’s challenging with you, than easy without.
Because what matters to me is not how great everything is, not how we never fight or raise our voices, not how good we look to the world—but the passion we have for each other.
The way we never give up on our beautiful, complicated love.