13 Uncomfortable Signs You’re Actually Discovering Your True Self

girl looking up, girl in glasses, uncomfortable signs, signs you're finding yourself, finding yourself
Tyler Nix

1. You feel uneasy in certain social situations.

Because you’re not the same person anymore. What used to be so humorous or interesting has shifted because you’re focused on different ideas, goals, or thoughts. You’ve found that you want to be inspired or challenged rather than simply preoccupied. You’ve found that the thought of being around old friends or out at the same old bars is depressing, not exciting.

2. Your hobbies or passions have changed.

You’ve learned that it’s okay to say ‘no’ to things you don’t actually enjoy doing. And as you’ve said ‘no’ to what you don’t like, and ‘yes’ to what you do, you’ve discovered that there are quite a few hobbies and passions that you’re into and you’ve started to pursue them.

3. You have anxiety over what you could be doing to better yourself instead of FOMO over social events.

Before, you used to stress over what you were missing. Now, you could care less about the social events because you’d rather spend all your extra time building yourself and your empire. The only ‘fear of missing out’ you have, is the fear that you’re going to waste time not becoming who you’re meant to be.

4. You’ve let some unhealthy people/relationships drift.

You’ve recognized that some of your closest friends or family members might not actually be supportive of you or your goals. And even though it’s painful, you’ve taken some steps away so that you can focus on the person you’re becoming.

5. You have mixed feelings when you look back at old photographs of you.

In some ways, you’re so proud to see where you’ve come from. In other ways, you’re uneasy because you’ve grown so much from the past and no longer want to be that person. Looking at old photographs gives you inspiration, but also a burning desire to leave what was behind you.

6. You cringe when you see other people going with the status quo just to make things easier.

You’ve learned the power of your own voice and the value of making your own decisions. You don’t just ‘go with the flow’ because you feel it’s of utmost importance to be true to yourself, rather than make the people around you happy. So when you see someone bending to fit someone else’s mold, it makes you squeamish.

7. You make decisions that surprise you.

Sometimes you surprise yourself—but each choice, thought, word, or action reflects what you want for this new version of yourself and your life.

8. You’ve had a falling out with someone you used to care very deeply for.

You’ve recognized unhealthy behaviors in the people around you and you’ve been careful to love from a distance when it comes to protecting your own heart. At times, you’ve lost friends because you don’t see eye-to-eye, or don’t have the same vision for yourselves. And as hard as that is, you’ve come to terms with the idea that some people aren’t meant to be in your life forever.

9. You don’t always follow the rules.

Instead, you make the rules, deciding for yourself who and what you want to do or be.

10. You question everything.

You don’t just settle for the first answer you get, for the first words that come out of someone else’s mouth. It’s important for you to understand things on your own, and come into your beliefs by yourself, rather than be influenced by someone else.

11. Sometimes you say things that you never thought you would.

You’ve become more in-tune with your inner desires, which means you’re learning to say ‘no’ when something doesn’t feel right, or articulate the feelings in your heart without holding back. In the past, you used to shut your mouth. Now you speak your truth.

12. You only accept things as true when you can prove them yourself, or come to that decision on your own.

You no longer depend on other people’s thoughts and perspectives to shape your own. Whether it’s a past value, or a new question you have, you search within yourself or within the world to find the answer, rather than let someone tell you what to think.

13. Sometimes your former self is unrecognizable.

Sometimes you look back at who you used to be and don’t really recognize that person. Sometimes you look in the mirror and have a hard time reconciling the new face with your old memories. As scary as it is to no longer have yourself ‘understood’ in the physical sense, you’re actually on the past to finding your true self—shifting, changing, and becoming new every single day. TC mark

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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