13 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You’re Silently Removing Yourself From Toxicity

girl looking down, walking, removing toxic people, removing yourself from toxicity, starting new
Taylor Bryant

1. Being socially selective. Where you used to be the first person to jump at a new plan, you’re holding back. Instead of always saying, ‘yes,’ to anything and everything your friends or family members are doing, you are now a bit more careful what you give your time and attention to. Anything that isn’t building you or aligning with your vision no longer takes up space in your life.

2. Becoming more comfortable with change. In the past, you’d refrain from speaking up, trying something new, or switching the routine so that you didn’t create any negative energy. Now, you’re becoming more comfortable changing your mind, your ideas, and your direction because what you think and feel shouldn’t be less of a priority than pleasing someone else.

3. Letting go of others’ opinions. You are slowly creating a chasm between your perceptions and what others think about you/what you should be doing. It’s not as important to be ‘liked’ by others around you as it is to be true to your own desires.

4. Creating distance. You are backing away from relationships that are stagnant, harmful, or unhealthy instead of getting sucked in or manipulated. In the past, you found yourself settling, unhappy, in search of something more substantial, or just plain broken. Now, instead of putting up with something that you know you shouldn’t, or waiting for good people to come around, you are actively removing yourself from what doesn’t sit well with your heart.

5. Challenging yourself. You are constantly pushing yourself to be better, stronger, and a have fuller sense of self. You don’t want to fall into a mediocre life; you don’t want to be surrounded by people and things that have no ambition, or are harmful to your growth. What’s of utmost importance to you now is focusing on you and building that you every single day.

6. Spending more time alone. You are silently choosing to be your own company rather than be with people who don’t bring light to your life.

7. Sharing positivity, rather than gossip. When you engage in conversations, you are continually changing the direction to something that aligns more with your goals—being positive, letting go of negative energy.

8. Shaping yourself into someone others might not quickly recognize. You are quietly shifting who you are based upon what you desire for your future. As you’ve given yourself space, healing, and strength, you have transformed into a powerhouse of a person that might not be recognizable at first glance.

9. Listening to the voice in your head, or the steadiness of your heartbeat. You are refocusing—quieting your mind and really absorbing your inner thoughts and feelings. The noise of the world has become silent in comparison to what you hear from within.

10. Saying ‘no,’ when necessary. You’re starting to say ‘no’ without feeling weird, anxious, guilty, or unsure. You’re slowly creating boundaries, teaching people how to treat you, and walking away from what no longer feels right.

11. Celebrating little things. When you start to drift from toxicity, you have a larger appreciation for all the little things you didn’t have the time, or energy to focus on before. You now see what you overlooked, and find value in it.

12. Taking healthy, intentional, forward steps into self-care. Before, self-care was something you did out of necessity—when everything in your life was crumbling apart. Now, in moving away from unhealthy people and habits, you have more patience and love towards yourself. And you’re taking care of your needs, rather than trying to please everyone around you.

13. Focusing on people who bring good energy. You are choosing to center your attention on people that brighten your life, rather than dull it. Losing people doesn’t scare you as much anymore because you know that the people who are meant to stay will stay, and those that don’t were perhaps not real relationships after all. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


About the author

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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