There are so many little things that determine your compatibility with another person. There are values/attributes that cause you to attach or detach to someone, specifics that make you attracted or turned off, or even languages in which you give or receive love.
But all of this comes down to how you define love—aka your ‘love style.’
Terry Hatkoff, a sociologist from California State University created this 50-question quiz to help you determine what love means to you, and what you really value in a relationship. (Take it! It’s interesting!)
Here are the 6 Love Styles:
1. Romantic: Based on passion and sexual attraction
2. Best Friends: Fondness and deep affection
3. Logical: Practical feelings based on shared values, financial goals, religion etc.
4. Playful: Feelings evoked by flirtation or feeling challenged
5. Possessive: Jealousy and obsession
6. Unselfish: Nurturing, kindness, and sacrifice
And based on yours, here’s what you need (and crave) in a relationship:
If You’re A ‘Romantic’ (Eros):
You want someone who isn’t going to stop dating you once they have you. This doesn’t have to be grand gestures or huge displays of affection, but feeling valued by your partner is of utmost importance.
You enjoy romance—going on dates, little sweet notes, homemade dinners—anything that shows your partner has put in the effort to show his/her love for you.
What you need, most of all, is someone who’s going to match your intensity of love. Someone who believes in your relationship, who sees it going further, and who is willing to deepen the connection both physically and emotionally as you two grow together.
If You’re A ‘Best Friends’ (Storge):
You want someone who isn’t just going to be your lover, but someone you can really count on. You see your romantic relationships as deeper bonds—not just based in physical, but rooted in trust and a firm foundation. You like knowing you can go to your partner with anything and everything, and really be yourself around him/her.
You like being true to yourselves and each other, never hiding anything or putting up walls.
What you need, most of all, is someone who values companionship as much as you do. Someone who values trust first and foremost, and who is willing to be vulnerable and show you who they really are. You aren’t looking for an easy-going, passion-filled love, but an enduring, committed bond.
If You’re A ‘Logical’ (Pragma):
You are someone who doesn’t fall in and out of relationships. You don’t like to form connections with people who you don’t see making and having a permanent place in your life. When it comes to your future, you’re always thinking ahead, and you won’t get attached to someone who doesn’t have the same goals/family plans etc. as you.
You find it’s important to know whether you’re logically compatible with your partner before falling for him or her.
What you need, most of all, is someone who is stable. You aren’t so much as concerned you’re your lover’s past as you are with the future—you want to know that they want to have as many children as you do, that they’ll accept your family, and that they’ll fit into your life with ease. You aren’t seeking perfection, but a strong and practical bond that will only deepen over time.
If You’re A ‘Playful’ (Ludus):
When it comes to love, you’ve always been searching for enjoyment rather than something serious. You feel as if you’re too young, or too young at heart to be tied down to anything that might restrict where you’re headed or what you’re planning for your future.
You don’t like to be forced to think about forever when you’re still figuring yourself out.
What you need, most of all, is someone who is just as fun-loving and laid back as you. You like to tease, to flirt, to have fun rather than being so serious and uptight when it comes to relationships. You are content getting to know someone on a casual basis, going on occasional dates, and testing the waters. You’re just not ready to settle down, and that’s okay. You need someone who’s on the same page.
If You’re A ‘Possessive’ (Mania):
You are someone who values love for the emotional stability and support it can bring. Love, to you, is one of the most powerful forces and to share that emotion and experience with someone else is truly humbling and exciting.
You love being there for your partner and knowing he/she has your back. You tend to be jealous, but only because loyalty is of utmost importance to you.
What you need, most of all, is a partner who understands the depth of your love and can match it. You are an emotional person, and sometimes your feelings can be up and down, effecting your relationship in good and bad ways. More often than not, you’re going to need a little reassurance, and you desire a partner who loves you—even when you can be a little ‘too much.’
If You’re An ‘Unselfish’ (Agape):
You are a giver. No matter what happens or what’s going on in your life, you’re ready and willing to put your partner’s needs before your own. You care so much about the people in your life, and being in love only deepens this emotional connection with your partner.
You are very selfless, and because you are always giving, you’re generally happy and satisfied in your romantic relationships.
What you need, most of all, is a partner who will reciprocate these gestures of affection. Though you aren’t kind in hopes of receiving kindness back, this definitely does not go unnoticed with you. Having a lover who is selfless gives you so much value, happiness, and joy. Being with someone who is just as willing to put you first blossoms your love into something long-lasting and satisfying for both parties.