6 Mistakes You Don’t Realize You’re Making Because You’re Letting Your Heart Control Your Head

couple, relationship mistakes, relationship mistakes you don't know you're making
Erik Lucatero

1. Listening to words, not actions.

When you’re guided by your heart, you’re hanging off your partner’s every word. Instead of being rational, or looking for actions to match promises, you hear only what you want to hear. You absorb the sweet words being spoken to you, and though there’s a chance that yes, they might be meaningful, you aren’t taking the time to see whether these words are followed through with action. You’re too focused on the kindness to see the underlying intention.

2. Getting caught up in the moment.

You let your emotions run wild. Instead of allowing your mind to process what you’re actually feeling, you’re ten steps ahead, completely giving yourself to this person who may or may not be right for you. When your heart controls your head, you don’t think—you do. You kiss. You share secrets. You get caught up in the moment with that person. And though this can be a good thing at times, it can also be dangerous. Because instead of stepping back and seeing whether what you have with this other person is genuine or healthy, you’re already sharing so much of your heart with them. Which can end up leaving you broken if you aren’t careful.

3. Falling too quickly.

When your heart rules over your head, you start falling for another person before either of you are ready. Instead of letting your relationships take their natural course, you are already spinning yourself in circles around this person, trying to spend as much as possible with, or around them. You let your heart make decisions for you—often putting yourself in places of high emotion that might not be smart for where the two of you are at. When your heart guides your head, you may be so blinded by your affection that you completely miss the truth.

4. Ignoring the warning signs.

Your heart can be foolish. Sometimes it can only see the best in people, even if the truth is far from hidden. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in the potential, in the emotion, in the way a situation or person feels, rather than what is. And this is the problem with letting your heart guide your head; you forget to see the reality, especially when it hurts.

5. Investing too early.

When your heart’s the guide, you throw yourself headfirst into relationships and people. You give too much, too soon and honestly, sometimes it’s not in your best interest. Sometimes you invest into a person who might not be right for you, or not ready to respond with the same fearless love. Sometimes you invest into someone who isn’t looking for a relationship at all, or doesn’t have the same emotions you do. When you let your heart rule over your head, you throw away common sense in the name of love. And though this can be beautiful, it can also be very foolish.

6. Mistaking lust for love.

This is the most painful and hardest truth to accept, but sometimes when you let your heart take over, you confuse lust for genuine feelings. You get caught up in the energy of a person, in the way they make you feel—physically and emotionally—and you think they have the same passion you do. You might start falling headfirst while they’re only interested in the intimate aspects of your connection, and when your heart is naïve and leading the way, this misinterpretation can end up leaving you broken and empty. TC mark

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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