You May Be Out Of Sight, But You Are Never Out Of Mind

There could be hours between us. There could be time zones and oceans, plane rides and mountains, and yet, I would still love you with the same fierceness. I would still care for you with the same intensity, with the same giant handful of a heart.

The world says distance drives a wedge between people—that being apart makes feelings slowly fade, that over time you begin to lose who and what matters. As if I could simply forget the way your hand feels on the small of my back, or your soft kiss on my still sleepy lips. As if I could simply forget the laughter we shared, echoing off the quiet walls of my apartment. As if I could simply forget your hand in mine as we walked down the silent roads, illuminated by streetlights and the pounding in our chests.

They say distance has the power—to erase, to change. But I cannot fathom not remembering who you are to me. I cannot imagine being miles and miles away from you, and not loving you exactly the same.

They say out of sight, out of mind. But I can’t think of a greater lie.

Even when I don’t see you every single day, or feel the touch of your skin on mine. Even when I fall asleep dreaming of your smile, wake up with my arm stretched across your empty pillow, I don’t simply forget who you are to me. I just ache.

I ache because no matter the distance between us, you are not out of my mind—you are on it. Always.

And this is simply because I love you.

There is no other explanation. I cannot simply erase our memories. I cannot possibly wipe my mind clean of the remembrance of you. I cannot simply go through my days pretending you don’t exist because even when you’re not tangible, even when you’re not physical, even when you’re not standing right in front of me, a body and soul I can touch, you’re still mine.

And you don’t simply forget someone whose heart you hold.

You are on my mind because my feelings for you are real. Because when something silly happens to me, you’re the first person I want to tell. Because when I’m sad, I just want to hear the sound of your voice, even if it’s through a telephone. Because when the long day is over, I just want to know how you’re feeling. Because when my phone buzzes, I always hope it’s you.

Because with the two of us, time and distance really can’t stand a chance.

So please don’t worry. Don’t let fear or doubt creep into your mind. This world has carved two separate paths for us right now, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still love with everything we have. We might be in opposite places in the world. We might be planes and trains and car rides away from one another.

But you’re not out of my mind, I promise.

No matter how far you are from me, you’re still the one I want to share my life with. And that, my love, is not going to change.
 

Marisa Donnelly is a poet and author of the book, Somewhere on a Highway, available here.