If You’re Going To Let Her In, Let Her Fully In

God & Man

If you’re going to show her parts of you, show them in their entirety. Show her the scars that line your shoulder, the callouses on your knuckles. Show her the line from the stitches you got as a child, the colic on your hairline that you fight with every morning. Show her the way your smile always falls crooked, or the silly sound of your laugh. Show her your hands, your mouth, your arms, and how each part of you will love her gently, passionately, fully.

If you’re going to open yourself, open all the way. Don’t merely show her the parts that shine, but the parts that are dark, too. Reveal your secrets, one by one. Tell her stories, piece by piece, allowing her to discover the boy you were, the man you’ve become. Open and share the painful, the bitter, the broken. And the joyful, the unburdened, the beautiful.

If you’re going to reveal your past, reveal all of it. Show her the places where you used to live, the offices where you worked, the women you both loved and lost. Be honest with her; don’t lie. Even in the things you regret, the words you wish you could take back, the relationships and choices where you made terrible mistakes—share these with her. Let her know who you’ve been, how you’ve grown, and who she’s decided to give her heart to. Show her that in your honesty, she has nothing to fear.

If you’re going to show her your heart, show her both the happiness and the holes. Show her the arteries still pumping blood, the cavities that are still strong and beating wildly for her. Show her the way you are still capable of love, even in pain. Don’t just show her what’s empty, desperate for filling. Not just the places that hurt. Not just the brokenness from a past lover. And not just when the two of you are alone, hidden away from the rest of the world.

If you’re going to let her in, let her fully in. Don’t just give her a little, then pull back. Don’t just share parts you think she wants to hear, leaving entire worlds closed off from her view. Don’t tease her with pieces of you and never the whole. Don’t hide her from your darkness. Because she wants to know all of you, and love you just the same.

If you’re going to give you hear heart, do so without reservation. For she knows you, knows that you are imperfect, and yet wants you to be hers. Don’t distance when you think you’re too much or too little; don’t run because you’re scared she will first. Don’t be afraid of what could happen, just trust that she’ll give your heart a safe home.

If you’re going to love her, love her, damn it. Life is too short to withhold emotion, to step forward timidly instead of fully, to continually overthink to the point that you ruin what could be before it even has the chance to become. Love her. With all that you have, with every fear aside, with only honesty, hope, and faith. And she will meet you right where you are, open arms and her heart in her hands. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Marisa Donnelly is a poet and author of the book, Somewhere on a Highway, available here.

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

Keep up with Marisa on Instagram, Twitter, Amazon and marisadonnelly.com

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