If You Love Her, Keep Her Wild

If you love her, let go. Let go of the fear from the past you’re bringing into your connection with her. Let go of the way you’ve always grasped so tightly to the things and people you love. Let go of your insecurities and the negative thoughts circling in your head, telling you that something will go wrong, cautioning you with the lie that you will inevitably get hurt, that she will leave. Because you know those voices don’t speak truth.

If you love her, quiet your mind. Close your eyes and don’t imagine the terrible things that could happen, but the good. Picture the two of you, hand-in-hand, your worries melting like chocolate on a summer night. See the way her hand fits effortlessly with yours, the way she reaches for you when you walk alongside one another. Feel the softness of her skin under your fingertips. Imagine the possibility, the promise of a connection that’s pure and deep and real.

If you love her, trust her. Watch as she talks to other people, lighting up her world with a simple smile. Stand beside her as she develops friendships, relationships with the people around her. Be patient as she wanders, as she spends time alone, as she finds herself while simultaneously finding who she is with you. Allow her to be who she is, and trust in her promise of commitment to you.

If you love her, let her grow. Take her hand but don’t be her guide. Let her stumble. Let her learn. Let her lean on you when she chooses do, but don’t demand to be the only support she has to stand. Trust that she is confident and able within her own skin.

If you love her, release. Allow yourself the freedom to fall—into her, into love. Stop holding back your true emotion, the way your heart beats. Release your tight grip on everything you’ve known and embrace a new relationship with her. Believe in what the two of you could become. Let her, let love in.

If you love her, let her be. Let her be as she is—strong and soft, gentle and passionate—and she will do the same. Don’t try to shift her ideas, change her personality, dissuade her thoughts and reason. Let her be the woman she is, let her change and grow and flourish on her own, and with you.

If you love her, keep her wild. Don’t try to hold her back or cling to her so tightly she has no choice but to pull away. If she creates a natural distance from you, trust that it’s only because she’s chasing her dreams, because she needs to focus on herself, because she’s busy and focused and not because she’s lost her connection to you. Let her run and dance and sing and create. Let her wake up early, stay up late. Let her be filled with passion and tenacity for her life.

Let her be free; not in the sense that you watch her leave, but you let her bloom. And as you love her, you will grow together, two flowers living wildly among weeds.

Marisa Donnelly is a poet and author of the book, Somewhere on a Highway, available here.