You Are Beautiful, Even In Your Brokenness

You are beautiful.

Why do you so easily forget this? Why is it that when you falter, when you fall, when you feel broken, you so quickly think you’re less, you’re unworthy, you’re weak, you’re not as wonderful as you once were?

You allow negativity to seep into your brain. You let the hurt and heartache fill your soul. You stand silent as people’s hurtful words and actions cut at your character. You give the world permission to break you down until you feel as if you don’t have the courage to rise again.

But you do.
You have.
You will.

I wish I knew why God gives us these tests, these trials, these days of purposelessness and nights spend counting the cracks in our ceiling. I wish I could make sense of the loss we feel, the defeat nagging in our bones, the loneliness so deep in our chests it feels as if it’s a part of us. I wish I knew why we have to watch people leave this earth, why relationships sometimes fall apart, why things can’t stay perfect all the time.

But I truly believe that pain brings healing in time. I truly believe our lowest moments show us who we can be and that our toughest losses give us strength to rise again.

I truly believe that every moment can be an opportunity, and that you don’t have to let your brokenness keep you weak and fragile forever.

Because the truth is, you are never defined by your brokenness. And even in your lowest, most painful moments, you are beautiful, powerful, and strong.

Even on the days where your makeup’s smeared under your eyelids or your hair is frazzled from all the times you ran your hand through it. Even when your shoulder muscle is torn and you can barely lift your arm above your head. Even when your legs feel like Jell-O and shake with every step. Even when your voice is hoarse from yelling and your eyes are puffy from the tears you won’t let anyone see.

Even on the days where you make mistakes you don’t think you can find redemption from, or the mornings when you wake up to the calls you should’ve answered. Even when your heart feels heavy from a failed relationship and you can’t stop replaying all the little things you miss. Even when you shake yourself from a daydream and remember the sibling, the relative, the friend you’ve lost.

Even when you stare at the tired face in the mirror—you are still beautiful and life will continue. YOU will continue.

You have come so far. You have risen and found your footing once again. And you will do this over and over again, no matter how defeated you are right now.

Life is cyclical—filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, paths that we can’t always make sense of. But what’s beautiful about our existence is that our circumstances will always shift. We won’t always be down in the dumps, longing for something, anything to make us feel happy again. We won’t always struggle with our heartbreak, or wake up every single morning, reminded of what we lost.

We won’t always feel powerless, hesitant, fragile.
We won’t always see ourselves as less.

The honest truth is that everything we go through teaches us who we are. Every low leads to an eventual high; every broken piece can one day become whole again.

We just have to remember who we are and what we’ve fought through. We have to have faith and believe that better days are coming.

And you? You must remember that behind the mask of pain is a wonderful soul. A soul that, no matter how broken or tired or purposeless-feeling is still strong, still worthy, still beautiful.

And will still rise again.

Marisa Donnelly is a poet and author of the book, Somewhere on a Highway, available here.