1. You learn your value.

When you fall in love with yourself before falling in love with another person, you learn your worth. You learn who you are and what you deserve. You learn that you are someone to be valued and you start appreciating yourself, rather than beating yourself up for every little flaw. Instead of focusing all your time and energy on another person and his/her happiness, you learn what you need and you pursue those things freely.

2. You become comfortable and confident in your own skin.

You smile at your reflection in the mirror. You put on clothes that make you feel good. You laugh. You have fallen in love with who you are and because you have chosen to love yourself first, you are more confident and comfortable being you.

3. You are genuinely happy, and create your own positivity.

When you fall in love with yourself first, you do things that add value to your life. You pursue what you’re passionate about. You treat yourself with respect and care. Choosing to love yourself before entering a relationship means you have sought happiness within your own being. You know that only you are in control of your mood—so you choose to create your own happiness every day.

4. You let go of negative baggage and past relationships.

Choosing to love yourself first means letting go of anything that is weighing you down. It means forgiving yourself or others for the way they have treated you. It means letting go of what didn’t work out, or any heartbreak still lingering in your chest. When you love yourself first, you stop holding onto painful pieces of your past and make room for good relationships and positive emotions to fill you.

5. You aren’t scared to ask for what you want.

Loving yourself first means living a little selfishly sometimes, which is good. You have learned to be selfish in a healthy way, pursuing what sets your soul on fire and chasing things you believe in. And because you have made yourself a priority, you aren’t scared to ask for what you want and deserve. You know you have value, and you’re comfortable making that apparent, especially in your romantic relationships.

6. You feel whole on your own.

You don’t need a relationship to make you feel satisfied or complete. In fact, when you fall in love with yourself first, you know you’re already whole on your own. You have focused your attention on your needs, desires, and interests. You value who you are and what makes you, you. And instead of desperately searching for love, you let it happen when the timing is right.

7. You have a genuine lust for life.

When you fall in love with yourself first, you learn to love the solo life you live. You love taking yourself on dates or watching the sunset. You love binge-watching your favorite TV show, or having a night on the town with your girlfriends/guyfriends. You love yourself, so, naturally, you have a lust for life. Life, to you, isn’t all about finding love or being in a relationship. And because you have made yourself a priority, you understand this and lead a richer, wholesome life.
 

Marisa Donnelly is a poet and author of the book, Somewhere on a Highway, available here.