In a world where text messages are the main communication, where tiny red hearts on a picture are analyzed for significance, where captions are premeditated and each reply Tweet is calculated, I promise to put down my phone and look you in the eyes.
In a world where we say one thing and mean another, where we start attachments just to unravel and leave them floating like kite strings in the wind, where we tell people we love them without knowing what weight those three words carry, I promise to speak with honesty.
In a world where we pursue dating apps before sweaty palms, where we chase the unrealistic before the tangible, where we run because that’s easier than fighting, I promise I’ll go to battle with and for you.
In a world of non-committal love, of ‘halfsies’ love, of only-for-the-moment-because-I’m-too-scared-love, I promise to stay.
And in a world of superficial love, I promise to be real.
I’m not scared of loving. I’m not scared of jumping in. I’m not scared of grabbing your hand and running full speed ahead with the birds and the trees and the sunlight spinning around us, blurring like the view from the passenger window on the highway, so free and fluid it takes your breath away.
I want to love you in the only way I know how—with all of me, with everything.
I want to laugh and let you spin me around in circles. I want to fight and wrap my arms around your neck and kiss every apology onto those lips. I want to learn each other. I want to make each other angry. I want to laugh until our bellies ache. I want to fall and keep falling, day by day.
In a world where we’re afraid to be ourselves, in a world where showing someone your heart is terrifying, in a world where people pretend that they don’t want to be loved when that’s really all they’re searching for—I’m going to open my mouth and tell you I care. I’m going to kiss you hard. I’m going to reach for you across the car, across the bed, across the world and pull you to me.
And I’m not going to let go.
See, I don’t want this pretend kind of love, the love that looks beautiful on the outside but is lukewarm in the middle. I don’t want the love that only dips into the surface. The type of love that’s guarded and hesitant and fearful. I don’t want the meaningless love, the love that only lasts for a night or is only based on the physical.
I want the good, the bright, the bad, the beautiful. I want the spaces in-between and all the cracks in your heart. I want to fill each crevice with my light; I want you to fill me, too. I want us to dance in the sunshine and wonder how the hell we got so lucky.
In world that’s hidden behind masks, in a world that’s playing pretend with the wishes in their heart, in a world that’s too damn scared to tell someone that they actually matter, I’m going to be the woman who lets her heart do the talking.
I’m going to be real, I’m going to be here, and I’m not going to run.
I’m going to love you fully, every damn day.